Log #7

Log #7

This week I read the book < The Aims of Education> written by Whitehead. Compared to other novels, this book is not that interesting enough. However, It made me think about the fundamental functions of education.

Since I want to be a teacher after getting a master's degree . Teaching is not an easy thing at all. Education is not only responsible for the state and society but also educates themselves.
And teachers teach students how to make a living, more importantly, how to live a good life, how to enjoy life and to help others enjoy life.

However, China's recent development of higher education is increasingly in the direction of utilitarian. On the department setting, the division is more and more specialized. Universities pay much attention on the science majors and cultivate technology professionals. But liberal arts education is intrinsically valuable. And the goal of learning is not just to find a good job but to be a good person.

Well, Proper utilitarianism is not bad, since people should be able to make a living. The problem is that it is wrong to let utility be the last goal. There is difference in education between China and developed countries. In China, children has been taught to read, write and count for the purpose of getting good grades and going to a good middle school in the future. The purpose of going to a good middle school is to go to a good high school. The purpose of a good high school is to go to a good university. The purpose of going to a good university is to find a good job. The purpose of finding a good job is to make a lot of money.
If the whole society targets only to GDP, money will dominate and corrupt everything.

This book also reminded me of an Indian comedy called <three idiots>. Education is  personalized. What is the most important thing in a person's life? It is lifetime happiness. I will keep polishing my concept map and reflect on myself.

Log #6

I have once seen the movie "The Joy Luck Club"， but the only feeling still remained in my heart is that it’s a movie worth watching. After reading the original novel, I have a lot of different feelings, especially when I want to communicate and resonate with the characters in the book.

The mothers hope that the tragedy of their own will not repeat on their beloved daughters, but those trauma has infiltrated their bone marrow, and the education of their daughters. They have been oppressed and struggled for freedom. They are sensitive and expect too much on their daughters, only to result in a deep gap between the mother and daughter, as well as the daughter's incomplete personality.

Auntie Lindo is a cheerful and straightforward mother. She escaped from the arranged marriage with her own wisdom and went to the United States. Her daughter, Waverly, was talented for playing chess. After Waverly won the championship in the chess games, the excited mother flaunted her daughter to everyone on the road. Waverly didn’t like her mother’s behavior and showed her dissatisfaction. But the mother showed indifference. “We not concerned with this girl, This girl not concerned with us.” The kid begged for her mother’s forgiveness and wanted to play chess again, but her mother just shouted “No, it’s not so easy anymore.” These angry words dampened the daughter’s self-confidence. 

Waverly no longer has the gift, and become just an ordinary person. She continued to play chess over the next few years. Win and lose the chess games. Eventually she stopped playing chess compeletly when she was fourteen. 

Women's struggle, when reflected on the level of the family, let daughters become the carriers. The result is causing trauma to the growth of daughters. There was a huge and deep gap between the mothers and the daughters.What’s more, education with the utilitarian purpose imposed pressure on daughters, and deprived the independence of the other soul. Women hurts women.

Dating to the past, facing the oppression of the old society, mothers have struggled with their own ingenuity, and have succeeded in fleeing there, finding their freedom for themselves.However, their daughters could not find themselves. Because their personality is incomplete, distorted. They always lived for others, or for the mother, or for the husband, and never thought to live according to their own wishes. 

Luckily, Mothers were later aware of the damage they caused on their daughters, because of the high expectations, or the impact of their own personality . Just as the old saying goes:” It's better for the doer to undo what he has done.”.Maybe I also need to have a deep communication with my mom.  

Concept map

Log #5

How to say no to friends?

In the class on March 29, with teacher’s guidance, I exploited myself and found that one of my vulnerabilities is that I can’t say no to my friends. I don’t want to let them down, see their upset face and feel guilty. But sometimes in my mind I do want to reject them since the favor they asked for was so tough and made me unhappy. After class I googled “how to say no to friends”and was amazed to know that there are many people having the same trouble .

Some bloggers shared their solutions and suggestions. I read them and sorted my own “4Ws”to say NO to my friends.

(1)Why do I need to say no?

I can’t say yes to everything.

True friends have to be sensitive to each other’s feelings and be willing to accept NO for an answer when it’s reasonable. Although I want to support my friends, but if the personal cost of saying yes is too great,  either morally or logistically, it’s okay to say NO.

(2)What need to prepare when I say No?

Providing a reasonable explanation of my decision to say NO. It helps my friends better understand my choice.

(3)When should I say NO?

Say NO as soon as possible if I do want to say so. Because my hesitation may make my friends have no time to ask someone else for help.  

(4)How could I say NO?

Gracious and reasonable. Use the sentence pattern just like“I wish I could but” or “I really can’t because...”in a soft but firm voice.

Hope I could get over this and make some progress.

Resources:

1.https://www.themuse.com/advice/how-to-say-no-to-anyone-even-a-good-friend

2.https://www.quora.com/Is-it-ok-to-say-no-to-friends

3.https://www.realsimple.com/work-life/10-guilt-free-strategies-for-saying-no

4.http://www.wikihow.com/Say-No-Without-Feeling-Guilty

5.http://academicintegrity.ucsd.edu/take-action/prevent-cheating/students/say-no.html

6.http://www.wisebread.com/5-ways-to-say-no-to-friends-and-family

Log #4

According to this week’s BBC Documentary <Troll Hunter>, Beauty blogger Em Ford  targets online abuse by trying to track down the trolls responsible.

Em Ford was also a victim of online abuse. Over the course of her Youtube, Instagram and Snapchat postings, she has received hundreds of thousands of abusive, harassing and downright disturbing comments just because of her Acne. She chose to fight back and turned hurtful online comments into a positive film that highlights the cyber abuse. This was an inspiring film and I have added it to my resources of this blog.

In this program, with the help of the BBC , Em Ford met victims of trolling abuse and bring them closure by helping them confront the person hiding behind the key board. Due to online anonymity, it was not easy to do so.

Stuart , who has been convicted of a horrific form of cyber abuse ,said he just thought he would try and see what reaction he could get out of people if he started trolling. In 2014, Stuart targeted the family of a local missing person with a series of disturbing Facebook messages. When he started trolling, he thought they would take it as a joke, but they took it as a serious matter. Stuart said he was doing that under the influence of alcohol. He was irrational at that time. But he didn’t think trolling was the biggest crime going,and he didn’t think it was even illegal because he saw many people trolling. This reflects trolling is a phenomenon that has swept across the web in recent years.

Alam , who have been targeting women online, sending female writer Louise Mensch pornographic images for a number of years, When asked why Alam takes pride in his anonymity and hides behind his profile , he said he is like Zorro. Superheroes always wear masks. So he didn’t use real name on Twitter, he used“Cruella180”.His mission is to destroy authority . And when somebody blocks him, he has got to them and his job was done. He will just move to somebody else. Alam’s anger comes from the gap between working class and middle class. And he has blurred the lines between his online persona and his real life. He wants to get attention and followers , and he has no idea about the impact his online abuse has.

This reminds me of my last week’s  reading that presents all bullies think that their behavior is justified. Bullies believe they are teaching someone a lesson; they claim that their victims are, through their own actions or faults, asking for it, and that they need to be called out and corrected.

Resource: 

http://www.acfun.cn/v/ac3223154

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WWTRwj9t-vU

Log #3

                How the Internet Has Changed Bullying

When it comes to bullying, the Internet has in some ways made the world more rural. Before the Internet, bullying ended when you withdrew from whatever environment you were in. But now, the bullying dynamic is harder to contain and harder to ignore. One of my friends complained about his schoolmate in our WeChat group. He said just because he told the truth that his schoolmate had done something wrong. Maybe his words were a little bit embarrassing and not euphemistic enough. Then that schoolmate sent messengers to all the people on my friend’s Facebook page to speak ill of him. He felt really offended and a little bit bitter. Because his real intention is to give some advice to his schoolmate , but in the last, he became the victim of cyber bullying. 
What is in bullies’ head when they do that? Participants often feel that their abusive actions flow from justified outrage—but all bullies think that their behavior is morally justified. Bullies believe they are teaching someone a lesson. Maybe my friend’s schoolmate wanted to teach him that speak euphemistic is really important. When immersed in an online world, consequences often go unseen. The first step to prevent bullying , may be introspection.

Resource: http://www.newyorker.com/science/maria-konnikova/how-the-internet-has-changed-bullying

Log #2

WHAT DO I WANT ON MY OBITUARY

The title may be some kind of eccentric and exaggerated. But this is what I question myself after watching Lux Narayan’s TED talk <What I learned from 2,000 obituaries>.

“Obituary is a notice of the death of a person, often with a biographical sketch, as in a newspaper.” I could remember the last obituary that I have earnestly read was the one of Yang Jiang —— the writer of memoir < We Three> and the wife of Qian Zhongshu.

Lux have collected and analyzed 2000 editorial，non-paid obituaries of 2015 and 2016. And he found that the word “help” was appeared in second highest frequency. And the name “John” was ranking first. This is really fascinating because whether you are famous or not, help made you remembered by others. So we undergraduates could think about how to use our talents to help society .

And there is another interesting conclusion —— the average age people achieved things is 37 .  It’s nearly fifteen years after our graduations. So we have enough time to learn about our jobs and go deep into our occupations. Just do not be too dysphoric.

Resource：http://www.ted.com/talks/lux_narayan_what_i_learned_from_2_000_obituaries?language=en

Log #1

Procrastination really bothers me a lot. Even though I know that procrastination doesn't make any sense,I just can't help procrastinating till the last minute.
From Tim Urban's TED talk"Inside the mind of a master procrastinator",I began to think about what I am really procrastinating on.
Unfortunately,I found that I have both two kinds of procrastination. The first one is in a short period of time that things have their
 deadlines. But there's a second kind of procrastination that happens in situations when there is no deadline. I wasn't aware of this one before I watched this TED talk.But I do have this kind of procrastination.I am curious about new things and always want to learn sth new.But most time I was just thinking about learning,but not really put it into action.This long-term procrastination has made me feel like a spectator, at times, in my life.I really want to change myself.So I should find the solution.
What am I really procrastinating on?When I saw others operating official accounts on WECHAT well, I really want to be as talented as them.But when it comes to learn Photoshop by myself, I feel frustrated because it's not easy.Then I put it off and begin to do things easier.No wonder I can't improve myself.



http://www.ted.com/talks/tim_urban_inside_the_mind_of_a_master_procrastinator?language=en