LOG#7

Recently, the election of the new leader of the student association of the AFL.

One day, when I was going back to the classroom, I encountered the new leader. He asked me if I am interested in joining the student association. I hesitated for a moment. Then we added each other on Facebook. This can be considered as the biggest change I have ever made in my life. As a lazy person, I always keep myself out of public affairs. Because the first time trying it sucked. It was the graduation song back in my high school. I composed the lyrics. And the result was not what I excepted. And I even been complained for about 2 weeks. It was such an awful experience and it got me frustrated.

For now, I am already busy enough. And I don’t want any trouble. But there’s somewhere deep inside my heart always goes: “I cannot avoid this forever.” We all have to take part in some of the public affairs after we grow up. Whether it’s voting or even join the election. Later, we contacted each other. He said that there was still a vacancy of Activities Director. And he said that I looked a lot like a person who loves participating activities. It’s pretty interesting. Basically, except the classes, I have no contact at all. I asked some of my friends about this. They all said that when they first met me, they also thought that I am a party guy. Especially the ones I knew after entering college.

It’s cool, I think. Many of the teachers taught me when I was in junior high said that my vulnerability was caring too much about my reputation. I focus too much on how people’s opinion about me. If their opinions were not what I expected, I would be affected severely. Not only my mood but also what I would think. I would start to think about “why would they have such opinion about me? Have I done something wrong?”  Hence, my productivity declines.

I always want others to consider me as a good person. By good person I mean a person who is almost good at everything. Like personality, knowledge, attitude …etc. and I know that caring too much affects me a lot. So, I’m still figuring out how to stop caring. Maybe life would be better when I stop caring that much. But, who knows? Just gotta try.

Log #6

Top 3 things that I fear: darkness, ghosts and death.

Have you ever been filled up with fear, anxiety, loneliness and helplessness at the same time?

2 weeks ago, I was told that there would be shooting stars. What an exciting news! So, I grabbed my camera and camera stand instantly and went all the way to Qingtiangang Grassland. I arrived there at about 00:07. At first, I did saw some stars. Then, the clouds began to be thicker and thicker. I thought the sight might be clearer if I stay there for a while. So, I stayed. And that's when things got out of hand. After taking some pictures, I went back to the parking lot and sat on my bike to wait. Then, I saw the clouds from far away came closer as it began to turn into fog. I could feel the air became damper and damper. The air became so thick that even light can't penetrate it. I could even see my shadow projected in the air. I started to feel the water in the air started to condense on my hair. After a while, my hair became all wet. And so did my clothes. So I gave up waiting on my bike, got myself back to the grassland, found myself a pavilion, and started to look into the void. Yes, literally, the void. All the things that you could see before became outlines, and then nothing. At around 2:00 AM, I could see nothing, even my finger. At around 2:30 AM, another crowd of people came to the pavilion, and started to tell stories about ghosts. Great, I was already in great fear, and here came the crowd saying things that I afraid of. After they were done telling the stories and started to move on their way, I could no longer stay in the pavilion. I felt my fears started to become phobias. At around 3:00 AM, I could no longer bear the fear inside my mind. I tried to escape. Escape from what's inside me, avoiding the truth that I'm such a coward. I started my bike's engine, turned on all the lights on it, and fumbled out of the parking lot. And I gave up again. This time, it was not about fear, it was about safety. The fog was so thick that even yellow light, which is considered to have the best ability to penetrate the fog, could deal nothing with it. I came back to the parking lot at around 3:20 AM. And sat on a stair in the grassland. I gave up. I gave up escaping from the phobias. I forced myself to face it since there's no way to run.Suddenly, I was filled with fear, anxiety, loneliness and helplessness at the same time. I looked up all the contacts in my phone and found no one to call. I felt...sad. No big deal, just sad. I discovered that if you really are in an extreme situation, you won't have any complicated emotions, only the simplest ones. And then I did one thing that I have wanted to do all the time, meditating. Cleared up my mind, felt my thoughts go through everywhere in my body. A joyful feeling came up. After that, I felt my fears are gone. I started to feel the environment, such as listening to the nature, other people's voice, the temperature and the water in the air. At around 4:30 AM, the lights came out. Finally, there's light. And the rest of the time is only waiting the road's situation get better and going down the mountain.

I've lost so many chances to talk with myself, or, my self, the other me. I found myself keep avoiding this, which is such an important thing to do. You won't know what you really like, hate, want, want to get rid of and the most important one, FEAR. I might still be afraid of the 3 things, but I know, next time, when I'm facing these thing, I know how do deal with it.

Concept Map

Log #5

Wicked Weeds.

Last semester, I was doing a project about the legalization of weeds. I have been really interested in weed since I was in senior high. I've read many articles about some facts about weeds. According to nearly all of the recent research in weeds, it's actually not harmful to human body. In fact, it's actually good for our body in some certain field of medical cares. And, since this is the first novel related to weeds, I decided to read it right away.

The characters were set as zombies. Not the kind of zombies that we know commonly, but the kind of zombies whose body condition is like a man who just smoked weed. They know what’s happening, they know how to react, but they don’t understand things that happen after they smoke it. I was worrying about whether this book can help me discover myself until I read this sentence.

“Qualia is the living being’s capacity to establish a connection between his experience of the world and the self. A living person can understand that the things that happen to him, happen to something that is him, his self, the consciousness of being one’s own self. If he feels joy or sorrow, if he’s overwhelmed by beauty or by danger, he knows that himself is feeling all of these things in such a way what he himself is feeling all of these things in such a way that he perceives the attributes of each.”

To me, the “living being” is implying the ones who are aware of what’s happening to his self. In contrast, the “zombie” means the ones whose mind is not with his body. This make me think of: “Am I still alive?” Because sometimes I don’t understand things that are happening to me. I feel like I’m not really existing. I’ve never had the time to talk to myself. Hence, I hope by reading this novel, I can discover something about my self (it’s not a typo).

Log #4

I read several articles about Trump’s ban against Muslims as an expansion of the words I left last week.

Currently, there are several ways to gain the green card if you’re not an original US citizen.

1.      Be a family member of a US citizen.

2.      An employment visa

3.      If you are a refugee

4.      If you are a winner of a visa lottery

However, things might be changed after Trump takes his office. Since we all know that Trump has a great hostility against Muslims.

During this week’s reading I discovered that Trump’s hostility against Muslims is based on the things that Muslims done in the US and the confusion about where these all came from? Trump’s saying is published in an article from CNN politics. “I have many friends that are Muslims, and I will tell you, they are so happy that I did this because they know they have a problem.” Yeah, who wants a man from a certain group including himself to drag the whole group down? “They said it’s about time that somebody spoke up as to radicalism. You have radicalism in this country. It’s here, and it’s trying to come through.” He even cited one of his Muslim friend’s word: “It (radicalism) is something that has to be talked about.” Moreover, he said he’s been told that he’s doing Muslims (which are not radical toward the US) “a favor”. If I am a Muslim, I would really appreciate that. Because the last thing I would be happy about is to take the blame for someone who backstabbed us.

“I’m not looking to be politically correct. I’m doing this to do the right thing.”

“Our country has a problem. People are in fear. They’re waiting for the next attack.”

“Why is there such hatred? Why is there such death? Where does this hatred come from?”

"I want to at least know where it's coming from. Why is it happening? And it's from a group of people. It's from a specific group of people. OK? Why is there such total hatred?"

If I was he, without knowing that many knowledge, I would not be brave enough to stand on the stage and take all the criticism. You can see how brave he actually is. However, most of the time he acts like a man with gigantic ignorance of the issue.

The policy would not be applied to the Muslim military personnel stationed overseas who want to come home. However, Trump still says, "We have to take care of the Muslims that are living here. But we have to be vigilant." Imagine, how would you think if the president of the country, which is protected by you, said those words to you? A person who you’re providing protection is doubting your loyalty? I wouldn’t expect that. Finding somebody suspicious without reasons is not going to help the world grow stronger and better.

References:
The religious affiliation of US immigrants (May 17, 2013)
http://www.pewforum.org/2013/05/17/the-religious-affiliation-of-us-immigrants/#muslim

Trump: my Muslim friends don’t support my immigration ban

http://edition.cnn.com/2015/12/13/politics/donald-trump-muslim-ban-state-of-the-union/

How unpopular is Trump’s Muslim ban? Depends how you ask

https://www.nytimes.com/2015/12/16/upshot/how-unpopular-is-trumps-muslim-ban-depends-how-you-ask.html?_r=0

Log #3

This week I'm going to talk about Trump's ban on Muslims.

At the very beginning of his proposal, he said that he was going to ban all of the Muslims around the world. He even formed a committee to show him "the right way to do it legally.". He even quoted Roosevelt's policy of banning German, Japanese and Italian alien immigrants during the WWII (but now is not a wartime!). Then, he gradually changed his proposal from banning all the Muslim around the world forever to banning all the Muslims from the places that has proven history of terrorism against the US and its allies until the officials figure out what is going on as a temporary policy. You can see how determined he is on this issue.

The good part of the policy is it might actually help the US avoiding terrorism. The bad part of the policy, to me, is, is it really that good to forbid the Muslims and increase the hatred from them against the US? And what’s more about it? Terrorism not only appears in Islam but also in Christianity. We can see it from the history. Such as the Crusades, isn’t that a terrorist attack to the Muslims? So, it would be too innocent and ignorant of him to have the thought about terrorism.

Finally, I want to share a small part of one of my favorite stand-up comedian Jim Jefferies’ show. He talked about how Trump was elected and what the Muslim world would be if he keeps doing stuffs like this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1V8oIlIZh_Q

Log #2

Trump's immigration policy

Recently, I read the Trump's immigration policy on Wikipedia. It seems to be more specific towards Mexicans. "When Mexico sends its people, they're not sending their best. They're not sending you. They're sending people that have lots of problems, and they're bringing those problems.... They're bringing drugs. They're bringing crime. They're rapists. And some, I assume, are good people." He said. And, of course I will do this kind of things such as banning the neighbors that do such things. People says that "One rotten apple spoils the whole barrel". If a man from a specific group do bad things, people will assume that the whole group is bad. There are some Mexican people did bad things in the US. But does it mean that all Mexican people in the US does bad things?

So, why would people hate Mexicans? Or, to be more specific, why do the media that we contact the most are making Mexico and other developing countries look guilty? For example, there're lots of movies about criminals in Mexico. And we've seen lots of news articles about the drug dealers in Mexico. And even the newest video game called "Tom Clancy's Ghost Recon: Wildlands" is about the criminal in Bolivia. Are they, the media, doing this to draw people's attention? To get more viewers? To get more players to buy the game?

Let's take a look back in Taiwan's media. There has been a lot of things happened in Taiwan recently. The one thing that can show how media affect people's thoughts the most is the murder of the model case. Folks got mad and started to write bad words on the other model's facebook page at first. Then, when the other model proved that she's innocent, people who wrote bad things on the model's facebook page started to delete their posts because they can be sued based on them. So, what's the purpose of the media? Since when they changed their goal from spreading news to affect people's mind? Let's take a look at Denzel Washington's words.

Log #1

If Trump insists, there's going to be another "Wall" on the world. Though he didn't say that the wall will be built with hostility, I think he meant it.
Let's compare the Trump's Wall to other walls on the world. According to an analysis conducted by CNN, the actual length of the wall will be 1954 miles and the height of it will be about between 9 and 16 meters. It will cost approximately about $10,560,000,000 USD, about 1/1000 of the money that the US government have. Though Trump said that it will be payed off by the Mexicans, well, who believes in that? Recently my favorite host of talk show -- Conan O'brien-- filmed a video about interviewing the Mexican people with the question "Will you donate money to build the wall?" The answer of them was quite interesting. Let's watch the video together.

There once was a wall dividing one country into two, the Berlin Wall. The length of it was 62.14 miles with an additional 41.01 miles fencing. And the height of it was 3.6 meters. The rulers at that time used the wall to measure off the power of capitalism and communism. Which means the purpose of the Berlin Wall is to draw up a line which is to symbol of a little piece of peace. No one can cross the line. And if you do, something bad will happen.

The longest and the oldest wall, the Great Wall of China, was started to be built by Qin Shi Huang in 220 BC. The actual length of it is about 13,171 miles. It's built by the army, citizens, conscripts, workers and criminals. It served as the northern limit of the Qin dynasty.

The building of the Hadrian's Wall begun in 122 AD. The length of it is 73 miles. And the height of it is about 5 of 6 meters. It served as a defensive fort and it's the border of the Roman Empire.

So, the Trump's Wall will be the second longest one, the tallest one. And to me, it will be the wall that is built with the most hostility.

LOG #8

It's a pretty stressful novel I think. The feeling came to my mind is so complicated that I've been depressed through the next couple of days. Is Amir a good guy at the end of the book? He saved Sohrab from the Taliban. He successfully get Sohrab back to America. He finally have General Taheri done with the racist speeches. He made Sohrab smile at the end of the story, and repeated Hassan's words: "For you, a thousand times over." to him. It kinda made him look better after all these things that happened between him and Hassan to others. But for me, it didn't help at all. Because his figure in my mind has changed from a naughty boy who liked to make fun of the illiterate friend to a guy who watched his loyal friend suffer and didn't send any help. He's selfish to me from the first time he made fun of Hassan to the end of the story. Was he really doing all of these in order to save an old friend's friend? Or was he just doing things that would make him feel better? For me, it's the latter one.

Forget about the things that happened in the novel. It's still a chaos in the middle-east area. People might think that it's all about the Islam religion. All these things that ever happened is because of the religion. But have anyone thought about the context? Is it really just about the Islam stuff? What about the natural resources? Like oil? Or maybe there's somebody who anonymously conducts all the thing that happened to this world? There're plenty of rumors that implies it's all because of the USA. See, the most influential country to the world is the USA. The biggest arms exporter is the USA, too. Who else can influence the world and gain money at the same time while the whole world is a disaster? That's kind of obvious. So maybe, I think, it's USA the secretly conducting all of these things. Or some might say it's because of the illuminati to be more humorous. Just conspiracies.

Reading makes a man becomes more spiritual. With each book he read, he gains more knowledge about what the book is about. Take Jing-Yung for example, reading his book can gain the knowledge of the time that the story take place and how to train oneself to become a KungFu master. Reading is good for lives. From this book I've learned roughly all the things that happened in Afghanistan from the 80' to the 00', And some local terms in Kabul. Reading makes lives more colourful. Though it's a information exploded dynasty, I still encourage people around me to read. Especially the ones from the Architecture Designing apartment. It will give them extra energy to design.

The books I read in this semester were great. And I feel so lucky that I choose them. I hope that the books I will read in next semester will be this great, too!

Log #7

My grandfather died years ago. I still remember the time when my father told me about his death. I was shocked. And I felt the air suddenly turned solid and I almost got suffocated. The whole atmosphere in the house was so heavy that nearly no one wants to talk. I didn't like my family to be like this. It was the time that I made the thing that I have regretted since then. It was the time that online games started to be trending. I was so into a game called "Maple Story". My parents know I love to play it. In order to change the atmosphere, I cried. When my dad asked me what I was crying about? I said I was crying for not being able to play the computer. And, of course, my dad scolded me immediately. "How can you be so mean that you care about the computer game more than your grandfather's death?" "I would bring the computer with you while you're asleep and toss both of you in the mountain!" I knew. I knew he misunderstood me. Maybe it's just because I couldn't convey my words correctly. Then, about a few months later, I saw this on the Internet.

"There's always someone who would like to mistreat themselves just in order to make you happy."

I did. I hoped it would make the atmosphere of my family better, but it seemed not working.

Baba's death made me think about it. For all Amir's life, he's trying to please his father. But it wasn't Amir that mistreated himself. It was Hassan. Hassan has suffered so much pain just wanted to make Amir a happy guy while he would never know that the guy he considered as the most important people is such an asshole. I was sad for Hassan, not Amir. Amir deserves no pity.

I think there is a main theme that the author is trying to convey. First is the ethnic and the fellow discussion derived from the ethnic issue. Second is the choice between interest and the family's expectation. See, all the tragedy happened to Hassan is based on the ethnic issue. And the author kept talk about the career of the main characters. Amir had always wanted to be a writer while Baba wanted him to be an athlete. Soraya had always wanted to be a teacher while General Taheri wanted her to be something more "practical". It made me think about my future. I'm in love with music and that is my interest. It's like gambling. I have to decide whether to go on with my interest or do something "practical". If I devote myself into music industry, like Amir devoted himself into writing novels, will I make my living? If I devote myself into something practical, like what Baba had done after he went to America, will I be happy?

To do or not to do. That is the question. (Definitely not a Shakespeare parody)

Log #6

I was pretty upset about the lack of attendance of my partners. It made us pretty hard to discuss the book reading, make decision about what we're going to do next week and which page are we going to read.

I think Amir is indeed a coward asshole. In order to get his father's attention, he did not spare to sacrifice his playmate, which was fed by the same breast with him. How dare you sell the one that consider you as the most important person on the world just to get attention from your father? If you really want to, you have to convince him, not in the way which damages your playmate. You have to respect, learn to be brave. So far, I don't like him at all.

It's sad. And it makes me think of one of my childhood friend. He's and asshole, too! Back to when we were in elementary school, we would go to the nearest junior high school and play basketball. On day, he was in an argument with another kid. So I walked toward them and asked what happened. That asshole sold me right away telling the kid's the parents that it was me that stole his ball. I was very angry. If I wasn't educated well, I would have punched him on his face. When things finally came clean, I, of course, broke off the relationship between me and him immediately. It's such a pathetic thing that only selfish assholes will do.

So we talked about the ethnic issue mentioned in the book. We had a small conclusion that "Discrimination can be taught in school". Is discrimination good to the world? Louis CK said that "There's nothing you can't achieve when you don't give a fuck about particular people." Sadly, it's somehow true. We wear shirts that made by child labors and take medicines that costs thousands of cheap labors. Most of them are minorities. From those examples we can see discrimination somehow made the world better, but what would happen if all of them are people who loves to make shirts and medicines instead of minorities that have to obey the employers?

I think it's very unnecessary to be a racist. Or, a man who discriminates. The relationship in the book is very complicated. Amir wants Baba to love only him, but Baba grew up with Ali---- Hassan's father----, he consider Ali is his brother, so he treats Amir and Hassan the same. And that's the point which make Amir upset. Things get worse when they grew up.

At about the end of this week's assignment, the main characters got to America, and that's a small end of the section about the characters' life in Afghanistan. What would happen later? Will they find better environment to live? Or will they be discriminated in the new environment? That is the question.

Log #5

First of all, I want to apologize to my group members. I went to the Heartown Festival on 11/27,11/28. The festival is about heavy metal, and the crowd went crazy. Of course, I was one of them. By the time I went back in Taipei, I was totally exhausted. My neck and my back was in pain due to the mosh pit that the crowd did in those two days. So I couldn't even get up. Therefore, I just had to ask a sick leave.

So the book that we chose was "The Kite Runner". It's a story started from describing the story between two kids. Their relationship is kind of complicated. The main character, Amir, is a kid from an upper class of ethnic while the other kid, Hassan, is from the lower class of ethnic. Amir is in the main factions while Hassan is in the minority. Due to the long-termed discrimination, they are not supposed to show up together. But which kid would know this when you are so young that you can't even say a word? Fed by the same nanny, they play together, speak their first word together, learn how to walk together. Though they are master and servant,this relationship to them wasn't very obvious when they were small. But things gets more complex when they started to get to school. because of the ethnic problem, Hassan can't go to the school. Sad to say, he is supposed to grow up illiterate. And because they are the only friend to each other, Amir would meet Hassan everytime he gets off school and they would go to Amir's father's yard and climb on the tree which is belongs to them and Amir would read stories to Hassan. Because of Hassan's illiteracy and Amir's naughtiness, Amir often make jokes on him. Like everytime it goes to a new word to Hassan, he asks him what the word is, and Amir would say something like "Come on! It's such a common word!". Though Hassan doesn't seem caring about it, Amir still give him shirts or broken toys in order to make up the jokes he'd done on Hassan. Then something happened to them. One time Amir was reading a story to Hassan, Amir decides to make up a story on his own while fake-reading the book to Hassan. And Hassan responds positively. Then, Amir decides to write a story in order to get his father's attention.

The story is so good that I stayed up reading it almost every day. I like the way the author mentions something important but never tells you about it. It's like fishing. Fishing the reader's interest in the book. He instigated my desire to keep on reading. I've never fell asleep while reading this book. To me, it's a story that if you only read it on the surface, you would think it's pretty harmony, but if you look inside, it's kinda dark. It suggested war, racism, genocide, and the difference between the wealth and the poor. I like it very much so far. Hope it won't disappoint me since it has incited my desire that much.

Three Best Presentations

1)
Julie "If You Could See me now"
    I think that the way she present the story and the relationships between the characters is the best among all the presentations on that day. First, she used the illustrations which was probably drawn by herself...I guess? To represent the characters and used the arrows and the annotations to present the relationships between the characters. Second, the layout was so simple that made it so much simple to watch. Finally, though she didn't type too much, what she said did let me sink into the story.
2)
Louis "King Lear"
That was the most well-structured presentation I've ever seen in this field. Not only did he read the book but also seen the musical. Though he couldn't use English to say what the youngest daughter say to the King, he did interpreted the content precisely.
3)
Henry "Blood on Snow"
Truly appreciate the courage that he volunteered to share the novel he read before the time he was supposed to. When he said the book didn't use any euphemism, he drew my attention instantly. He also quoted some of the content that says that "Guard against all intents to harm you, but harbor no intention to harm others". Man! That's my motto!

LOG #4

Sorry for being late because I was watching the movie version.

The end of the book.

Honestly, I'm not pretty satisfied at the end of the book. Growing up, I've always been a person who loves sad stories. But it wasn't. The father was attacked by a couple with bows and arrows. They shot him unexpectedly, hurt his leg. But the father fought back instantly with a signal gun and burned the man to death. Though he fought back successfully and did some easy treatment to the wound, he still died. If this is the end of the story, I would be so sad but actually happy inside for couple of days. Because I love this kind of story. Father with his son walking in the ruin from nowhere to nowhere, father dies and leave the son on his own, the son died eventually, no hope for human being. Damn! It's awesome! But back in the end of the story, after staying beside his father's corpse for about 2 days, a man come to him. Then he revealed the truth that they've been following them for almost 3/4 of the book. And they didn't realize it. It may because of the father's alertness was too strong for them to show themselves up. Eventually, the kid sought refuge in the man's family, which is formed by a couple, two kids and a dog. Such a disappointing ending.

And the movie version of the book did a little bit change just like any other adaptation of other books. Generally, the movie followed the original novel. But did deleted the earthquake scene or combined it with another epic scene. Did the director think that epic plus epic equals double epic? I think not. The OST (Original Sound Track) is great because it show the loneliness, make you lost in your own emotional world, bring  you beside the father and the son. You don’t know what would happen. You don’t know whether you have anything to eat. You can’t even imagine if there is tomorrow. That’s the contagion of music.

I think the reason why I prefer the sad ending to the happy ones is because that the tragedy can really bring out the true emotion. Some people are really upset with the tragedy while some don't. As an emotional but rational person, I think the heart broken facial expression is the best to me. It really shows how people deal with the emotional crash. Some just easily breakdown and look for comfort,  some goes crazy and attack themselves, some get it together and move on. While observing other's confrontation, I wonder how would I do if it happened to me.

Overall, to me it’s still a good novel though it disappointed me at the end of it. Emotionally, the boy found his new home was still a little bit touching though I did wanted everyone in the book die in the end. Academically, it brought me tons of new words that I have not seen. And that’s the reason why I read it so slowly. I like books that I can grow up while reading it. Great job.

The next book I'm going to read is "Never let me go" by Kazuo Ishiguro. The reason why I chose this book is because the title of it reminded me of a song that I really loved when I was in senior high named "The River" by Parkway Drive. I always feel lonely when I sing it. So, let's wait and see.

LOG #3

I’m sorry for being late. I wronged the deadline.

After heading south for about 60 pages (seems like almost a year in the novel), the father and the son finally encountered other human beings. After having a conversation, the father discovered that they’re not good guys. The instinct of father exploded.

The first ever action scene amazed me. Sentences like “He was a big man but he was very quick. He dove and grabbed the boy and rolled and came up holding him against his chest with the knife at his throat.” If there wasn’t the sentence “he was a big man but he was very quick”, audiences would probably only imagine the actions that the bad guy done, but with this line, all the actions seemed like be done in a flash.

If I was the father, what would I do? The father in the story “had already dropped to the ground and he swung with him and leveled the pistol and fired from a two-handed position balanced on both knees at a distance of six feet”. Jesus! The father shot the bad guy while the bad guy was still grabbing he’s own son at a distance of six feet! Though six feet is not a long distance, I wouldn’t dare taking that shot instantly. What if I shot my son? The father must have a great confidence that I don’t have.

The biggest problem I face is the lack of confidence. Growing up, I’ve been told to make things perfect. So, when I encounter something that not good, I criticize. But every time I criticize, I’m slowly killing my own confidence. And end up becoming afraid of being criticized. Too much self-expectation made me not willing to present myself. I’m trying to improve myself, but can I make it? Maybe the father in the novel can teach me.

Log #2

I spent my holidays on exploring books in the library. To be honest, I haven't been in the library since
I finished the TVE Joint College Entrance Examinations. It feels really good to be back here again. The silence, the atmosphere here is still the same.

After browsing for about 3-5 hours, I finally decided which book to read.

"The Road"

The reason why I chose this book is the cover. It reminds me of my favorite video game named "The Last of Us". The game is about a man and a little girl. Because the girl is probably the savior of the zombie apocalypse, he had to take the girl to the place where the scientists are to research and develop the antidote to the catastrophe.

The picture on the book's cover reflected the father love that the father in the game showed me. It touched my heart so bad. Therefore, I decided to read this book.

At the beginning of this book, the author created a scene of a father and a son traveling in the ruins. Since this is the first time I read an English novel, the words that the author used is pretty profound. And I love the way he tells the story. Once I started reading, I just can't stop. I was deeply buried in the book. I even think that I was walking beside them in the world of ruin. Though the communications between them are very short, I still can see the love between them through the actions and the eye contact that the author told me.

It is a very good book from the beginning, hope it can stay still 'til the end of it.

Oh wow it has been adapted into a movie. called "末日浩劫".

Log #1

So, it took me about three days to look for the e-book version of the music theory.
I think I'm too lazy to carry books around so I'm pretty stubborn on looking for the e-book.

The reason why I chose this book is since I'm involving my self into the music industry, I think I'll have to advance my understanding to the basic music knowledge.
But when I finished the first chapter, I decided to turn this project down. Because after all these non-reading years, To me I think it's better for me to find the sense of reading back before directly reading a textbook.

It's time to tlk about the book.
The very first chapter is talking about writing the tabs. It described how to  draw the "Durational Values" (note), defined the proportional relationship between one note to another, defined the notes in musical time and space.
For example, four quarter-note (Crotchet) equal one whole-note (Semi-breve), a dotted note means there are 1.5x original note. In a normal tab such as 4/4, a semi-breve equals a section.

According to the contents above, I think it's pretty easy to see the reason why I turned the project down.
I can't feel the flow condition while reading this book.
I think I'll find a novel first to help me get the sense of reading back to me real quick.

My Reading History

I think I was a reader before I'm in the third grade of Junior High.
Back in the time when I was a reader, I read tons of Mandarin books per month.
I finished all of the Jin Yong Martial Novels in the fourth grade of elementary school.
My brain was filled with the fantasies for being a martial master and save the world.
When getting in the junior high, I started to read about music and architecture design due to my enthusiasm for both of them
Then I started running my first band in the second year of junior band, and had for about four or five live shows.
But everything changed till I was in the third grade.
I failed an important exam that made my teacher cry.
Therefore, I stopped all of the activity to improve my grades.
I spent all of my time on the textbook, went to cram school.
After fighting for a year, I got into Municipal Da An Vocational Hight School Department of Architecture.
And finally regained my passion.

I still love the books I read. Because I think that what I read influences what I am.
And almost all of the books I read is about being a hero, I guess I'm now a kind of hero...?
Whether a hero of the music world or the architect world.

The main reason why I become a reader is the environment of my home.
Both of my parents are graduated from National Taiwan Normal University Department of Chinese.
Due to the backround of them, my house was filled with the books that they like to read.
Because they like to read, they told me that I have to have a reading habbit.
But how can I choose what to read among all of the books in my house?
What was in my mind is : The most important thing in life is having the sence of justice.
So I chose the Jin Yong series.
To become a hero, I have to research for the skills that every characters have in the novel.
The environment and the fantasies for being a hero saving the world made me a reader.