Log #7

My grandfather died years ago. I still remember the time when my father told me about his death. I was shocked. And I felt the air suddenly turned solid and I almost got suffocated. The whole atmosphere in the house was so heavy that nearly no one wants to talk. I didn't like my family to be like this. It was the time that I made the thing that I have regretted since then. It was the time that online games started to be trending. I was so into a game called "Maple Story". My parents know I love to play it. In order to change the atmosphere, I cried. When my dad asked me what I was crying about? I said I was crying for not being able to play the computer. And, of course, my dad scolded me immediately. "How can you be so mean that you care about the computer game more than your grandfather's death?" "I would bring the computer with you while you're asleep and toss both of you in the mountain!" I knew. I knew he misunderstood me. Maybe it's just because I couldn't convey my words correctly. Then, about a few months later, I saw this on the Internet.

"There's always someone who would like to mistreat themselves just in order to make you happy."

I did. I hoped it would make the atmosphere of my family better, but it seemed not working.

Baba's death made me think about it. For all Amir's life, he's trying to please his father. But it wasn't Amir that mistreated himself. It was Hassan. Hassan has suffered so much pain just wanted to make Amir a happy guy while he would never know that the guy he considered as the most important people is such an asshole. I was sad for Hassan, not Amir. Amir deserves no pity.

I think there is a main theme that the author is trying to convey. First is the ethnic and the fellow discussion derived from the ethnic issue. Second is the choice between interest and the family's expectation. See, all the tragedy happened to Hassan is based on the ethnic issue. And the author kept talk about the career of the main characters. Amir had always wanted to be a writer while Baba wanted him to be an athlete. Soraya had always wanted to be a teacher while General Taheri wanted her to be something more "practical". It made me think about my future. I'm in love with music and that is my interest. It's like gambling. I have to decide whether to go on with my interest or do something "practical". If I devote myself into music industry, like Amir devoted himself into writing novels, will I make my living? If I devote myself into something practical, like what Baba had done after he went to America, will I be happy?

To do or not to do. That is the question. (Definitely not a Shakespeare parody)