Log #7

   




Recently I have read a book called "The Servant: A Simple Story About the True Essence of leadership." I know, the book looks like it has no connection with self discovering. Well, it doesn't. However, in this book is one point about "love" that I found interesting, and the point can also come to explain my actions after knowing my true self.







The book, although talks about leadership, mentions that one needs to love in order to lead. The definition of "love" here is far different from what I believe. Cited from the Bible, "love" is patience, kindness, humility, respectfulness, selflessness, forgiveness, honesty, and commitment. Love is a verb and thus should be expressed with actions. Then, what does this have to do with  self discovering?

Do you love yourself? Do I love myself? Do I show patience and forgiveness to myself when I make mistakes, or I indulge myself in the self-blaming, self-doubting environment? Am I honest to myself? Do I keep promises to myself? Am I humble, am I respectful, am I selfless to myself? Do I accept myself? After questioning myself, I realize that I do not love myself enough.

If I loved myself enough, I would accept what I truly am. I would not blame myself so hard last week in the log. Now with the new meaning of love, I decide to embrace. Even though I am not courageous any more, even though the reality nearly defeats me, even though I almost lose direction, I have decide to love myself. Without these feelings, these situations, I would not be me. These experiences are valuable because they make me who I am. So, do I take actions? Yes, I would start to love myself.

Log #6

    Last night when I was taking a shower, I accidentally found a centipede crawling up the draining pipe and it was crawling to somewhere dry to stay alive. As I saw it, I nearly screamed! However, it was the fleeing centipede that spurred me on to think. If I were going to die soon, the first thought that would flash through my mind would be my bucket list.
   
    I have got a long lines of items on my bucket list, including going to the north pole to see wild polar bears and aurora borealis, visiting Africa to set my eye on the wildlife, wandering on the desert of Egypt, trying bungee jumping  from the highest building available, and so on. All very wild. All very big. These are the goals I set up for myself when I was in high school, where all I had to do was learning and worrying about my grades and nothing else. As I grew older and became a college student, I found myself losing direction of life. Now there are so many stuff to worry about: my friends, my projects, my exams, my club activities, my job, my rent, and so forth. My mind is so filled with such things that I nearly leave my dreams behind.

    I used to be such a brave, fearless girl who was willing to try everything new, and now I am oppressed my reality. Of course during my college life I have tried some novel stuff like holding camps or being a club leader. Nevertheless, I found myself so vulnerable and so easy to break down after devoting myself to these activities and boom! there came load load loads of problems. I suddenly realized that after all we would have to face the world alone. Yes there will be our friends, families, or even strangers, yet all they do is listen to you and give you advice. When it comes to really solving the problem, it is I myself that can take action.

    I AM THE DECISION MAKER. I decide to call back the courageous girl inside of me. I decide not to be easily knocked down by obstacles. I decide, I decide, I decide. But I'm afraid. This is me. The inconsistent me.

Log #5

    Speaking of self discovering, what flashes through my mind first is Miyazaki Hayao's(宮崎駿) animations. From "The Valley of the Wind" to "My Neighbor Totoro" and to "Spirited Away," Miyazaki Hayao's movies have accompanied me through my childhood, and some of the elements in these films have inspired me to pursue a better self.

    In Miyazaki's animations, it strangely is female characters that account for a big part of the films.  Moreover, princess as these characters are often set as, they are not spoiled at all.(Except Chihiro in Sprited Away) Instead, these females, while carrying their proudness,  display special personal traits such as independence, strength, fearlessness, a sense of responsibility, and so on.  Actually, Miyazaki even once said, “Many of my movies have strong female leads - brave, self-sufficient girls that don’t think twice about fighting for what they believe in with all their heart. They’ll need a friend, or a supporter, but never a saviour. Any woman is just as capable of being a hero as any man.” 

    Every time I watch Miyazaki's movies, I can deeply relate myself to these female leaders, for I admire these personal traits so much that I want to equip myself with them. I see from these characters leadership skills. They interact with people with authenticity; they make choices with decisiveness; they chase what they want without hesitation; they face obstacles with determination and courage.  They are the models of leaders and they are what I want to be in the future.  

    In the future world where competitions will only become more and more fierce, those who carry great techniques of leadership will run the world. In order not to be left behind, I think I will have to learn from to these fantastic women and make myself more competitive. Luckily, I guess I have had some of the traits with me now.    

Log #4

    Since we are doing a project whose topic is animal abuse, we inevitably are confronted with the issue of "meat paradox." Imagine that you are having pork or steak as dinner, would you feel guilty for killing those animals and make them your food? If yes, that is when meat dilemma happens.
   

Having read pieces after pieces of news about poaching animals or over-hunting, I find it odd that people condemn poachers for killing animals in the wild but they may not feel guilty for having a tuna sandwich or bacon burger. Should we feel guilty of eating animals?

    I don't think so. If human beings don't eat meat, why are we born with a digest system that digests meat well? Also, I think if we are eating those animals that are born, raised, and fed in farms, we should not need to feel ashamed because that keeping a farm is how some people make a living, which, if we dismiss animal husbandry, will lead to the farmers losing jobs. What is really the problem is that those animals suffer tremendous agony when they are slaughtered and during their stay in the farms.  So what you actually need to do is NOT stop eating meat and encourage vegetarianism, but improve the way livestock are kept and slaughtered. 

http://www.iflscience.com/plants-and-animals/why-don-t-we-feel-more-guilty-about-eating-animals/

http://time.com/97479/carnivore-vegetarian-animals-meat/  

Log #3

Prostitution Should be Legalized

    While people keep saying that all professions are regarded equal, there is one profession (a.k.a. the oldest profession) that is deeply stigmatized. It is one of human natures. It is what diminishes sex slaves, sexual violence, and human trafficking. As far as I am concerned, there should be no wrong and no stigmas with earning money with vaginas. Who are to blame are the pimps and the brothels.

    According to the article (http://www.listland.com/top-10-reasons-prostitution-legalized/), the legalization of unforced prostitution can only do us no harm but good. Besides stopping some sorts of crimes related to human rights, it also helps a nation make money and, if implemented with corresponding measures, legalized prostitution can slow down the spread of sex transmitted diseases. 

    Furthermore, do you know how much money Japanese sex industry earns each year? Sixty billion euros per year according to the statistics of Financial Times. 

    As female rights are highly advocated today, women should have the right to control their bodies. They should have the right to use their body to earn money to live, just like men using their body to build walls on borders or to load ships and trucks. I hope one day in Taiwan, prostitutes are not discriminated. One day in Taiwan, beautiful girls with brand name bags in hand  would not be teased that 鮑鮑換包包. If there is no wrong with this job, it should be legalized.

Log #2

BBC Earth, 11 March 2016. — "'What I wanted to do was find a story that showcased both sides of the fence,' he(James Walsh) said."
http://www.bbc.com/earth/story/20160310-the-difficult-truth-about-poaching

    When it comes to stopping poaching, the first thought that flashed through my mind was to stop the poachers.  To stop them, we should know why they poach first.

     As the report said, the poachers were originally hunters. They hunt because they needed food and trades since they had been cast away from their homeland and unemployment was greatly increased.. Their homelands were turned into reserves, which according to the local, benefited them nothing at all. So they hunt to fill their stomachs and  support their family. So they hunt for more money. So animals are sacrificed. So they are stigmatized  with cruelty, greed and heartlessness. All of these, however, is not what they are doomed to be. Instead, they are forced to be. They are forced to move away from their original prosperity and suffer from unemployment and poverty. Under such circumstance that the balance between animal conservation and human life is destructed, maybe we should find another way to help the poachers in order to stop poaching.

    One of the solution that was mentioned in James' documentary "(en)snared"   is education. Children are educated and know the importance and gravity of conserving animals. They even go in person to the reserves to watch wildlife, after which students response that they fall in love with the animals. So they go home and teach their parents how important it is to not poach.

    Even though education is a way to shoot the problem, I think how to help the local solve their financial problems and low employment rate is the major way to ultimately stop poaching.

Log #1

    The Guardian, 30 Dec. 2016 — "China will ban all domestic ivory trade and processing by the end of 2017, state media reported on Friday, in a move hailed by activists as a gamechanger for Africa’s elephants."
.https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2016/dec/30/china-ban-ivory-trade-2017-elephants-wwf

    Seeing elephants and rhinos being shot dead and their horns being ripped off their bodies, I was filled with gnawing pains.  Gnawing pains that raised my fury against poachers, gnawing pains that triggered my wrath on those who demand animal products, and gnawing pains that leave me in a bitter contemplation. I wonder why people are eager for ivories. I wonder why is poaching happening. I wonder what is the ultimate solution to this destruction of the harmony between human beings and animals.

    According to this report, ivories are imported for medical uses and for the rich to symbolize their status. However, ivories have been proved to have no medical effects and status symbols can be replaced by other luxuries that do not take away animals lives, like cars or diamonds. Even though human beings are regarded as prior to all the other creatures because of out intelligence, that does not mean we can, we have the rights to shot animals dead just for what they possess. Instead, we should live in harmony with them. As for how, I'm still searching..

Log #8

Book Chosen: The Girl on the Train by Paula Hawkins

Pages Read: 286-409

    Both Rachael and Anna found out that it was Tom that killed Megan because she was having his child while all he wanted was for her to disappear and stay silent. For Rachael, she figured out all the truth after she realized that for all these time she had been inserting some memories she imagined into the reality. That is, she was tricked by herself( partly because of her drinking habit). As for Anna, she found in her house Megan's phone, which contained records of her and Tom having an affair. So they two had a talk with Tom and argued. In the end Rachael killed Tom in an attempt to protect herself and Anna helped cover her through the police's investigation. 

    I felt so angry, furious even, to read Tom's statement toward Megan's case. It is outrageous of him to claim that everything he'd done is not his fault. "Look what you made me do." I was so overwhelmed with rage that I shut the book close when I read him crediting his behavior to Rachael and Megan and others. In fact, it is really clear what made Tim who he is-- his parents. His parents spoiled him, offering him everything he asked for. They even remortgaged their house for Tom. However, how he paid them back was cutting off any connection with them. Well, this is a common scene of modern society: parents spoiling children, making them irresponsible, making them take everything for granted, making them think that everything they do wrong  there would be someone cleaning up after their mess. UGH I will never educate my child this way.

   

Log #7

Book Chosen: The Girl on the Train by Paula Hawkins

Pages Read: 216-286

    Nearly a month after Megan went disappeared, her dead body was found in the woods. What's more, the police also found a baby buried near her, who was believed to be her child. As for Rachael, she and Scott kept contacting each other for comfort and for finding the truth behind Megan's death. They seemly become friends as they talked more. Rachael also went to see Kamal, the therapist Megan had an affair with, and found it good to talk to him.

    As the plots unveils, I got more and more confused. Originally I thought it was Kamal that killed Megan. Then, reading the story, I found that it may not be him since he has little motive. He wanted his job and stopped the relationship. So I kept reading and found out that it may be Scott who murdered his wife. I don't know. I think I am stuck there, not knowing any details of the case but only the characters dealing with their own relationship. I need more details to judge who is the killer. Well, it could Megan herself that ended her life. The pace of the book is slowed down because of the relationships.

    According to my last log, I believed the theme of the book is to carry on with life regardless of the past. However, there are many ways to carry on: one can choose to forget, hard and nearly impossible; one can choose to live with it peacefully, one can also choose to be haunted by it. It's all in his/her hand. Megan was haunted by her past, but Kamal suggested that she forgive her past mistakes so that she could be saved. So it is us that make the decision. Choose it cleverly.

    

Log #6

Book Chosen: The Girl on the Train by Paula Hawkins

Pages Read: 86-216

    She's gone. Megan/ Jess is gone. What happens to her? Is she still alive or is she really gone? Who triggers this incident? How is Rachael involved? What exactly is the missing memory she had on that vital night when Megan vanished into thin air? Wait, actually, why does the author made Rachael involved? 

   Rachael the alcoholic is finally trying to get rid of alcohol so that she can stay sober when she is needed as a source on the case. However, for everything she has done as a drunk, she is not trusted, not taken seriously at all and is believed to be mentally unstable.

   I believe( personally and temporarily) that the theme of this novel is to constantly find something worth living for. Rachael's failure to have a child leads her to a miserable soaked-in-alcohol life. Megan's failure to run a gallery brings her about the loss of live. Scott's failure to keep his wife causes him to walk to a bad path. We just let bygones be bygones. When we lose it, we're gonna find something new to become the core of our lives. Then our lives may be lit up again. Nevertheless this is never an easy thing to accomplish, yet it is never the thing to give up.

Log #5

Book Chosen: The Girl on the Train by Paula Hawkins

Pages Read: 1-86

    I issued this book for our group reading because I, along with my teammate Patty, was so fed up with romance that we decided to read mystery and thriller. However, after we made up our mind to read The Girl on the Train, we found out on the Internet that there were lots of criticisms toward the book. Still, every man (and woman) has his (/her) taste. It would be so extraordinary and interesting that we could read and maybe have the opposite viewpoints from the criticisms.

    Just like what Professor Lee said, nothing happened in the first fifty pages, yet the author really did a great job depicting the characters' personalities and lifestyles. For example, from Rachel's over drinking, readers can imply that she might be someone that refuses to face the reality. Another highlight of the story structure is that the book is composed by three women's diaries, from which the readers can little by little get the whole picture of the story separately, like playing a puzzle. Instead of revealing the story chronologically, the details of the story are given separately, enabling readers to guess and speculate. I like this way of unveiling a story because it is more enjoyable and interactive to read.

    I also think it interesting that Rachel portrays others' life just by observing them few minutes everyday, and then in her own will projects her own once-happy-then-miserable life onto the couple. It's not at all practical. Nonetheless  such unrealistic deed is what we often do-- expecting others and getting upset after others fail to achieve our expectation. Take the recent Strassburg Xmas Market near Taipei 101 for instance. People thought it would be really exotic, with little cabins capped with silver snow and giant Christmas trees hung with colorful flickering lights. Nevertheless the market turned up to be not so satisfying: vendors from Taiwan, cabins with nothing, and a giant Christmas tree with a giant ad on it. Lots of people booed at the market, yet it is we that such a goal too ideal to achieve. So there was no wrong the market did. Maybe people and Rachel should not set a goal too high, or achievement may become difficult. 

Log #4

Pages Read: 158-223

    Ava, though still confined at home, started to escape home to gather with other teenagers under her friend Cardigan's invitation. Ava finally tasted freedom and could not help but fleeing home every night. However,  a priest saw her outside and think of her as an angel, his desire for her unstoppable. Beside, Viviane had a fight with Gabe that awoke him from the endless dream that one day he would have her. 

    As soon as I read these paragraphs, I related Ava's story to that of Jack's in the movie "Room." though both of them were limited as young as they were born, the window in Ava's room made the differences. Since Jack only knew the outside world from his mom and a TV, I felt more pitiful when he refused to accept something that broke down the world he had known, the real world. However, for Ava, the window through which she saw the world instead spurred her curiosity.

    Unfortunately, in the world outside, people judge, especially those unknown. "People won't know you if you are different from their expectation of you," said Rowe, Cardigan's stuttered brother.  It would be so tragic that we cannot shape ourselves according to our will but people's expectation. For Ava, she just wanted to be a normal girl, not a winged monster nor an angel. So, for me I think she should learn to ignore what others say about her. If she takes those words seriously, she would also take on the fist the words punch to her.

   

The Power of Words

    Knowing the 20-minute tragedy that had happened in Stanford University, I begun to speculate what brings about such vicious behavior. Then I recalled this video called "Dear Daddy." Although we all recognize the importance to stop male chauvinism and to support sexual equality, where should we start? This video gives a possible answer.

#Dear Daddy: https://goo.gl/HNG6KY
  Script: https://goo.gl/8Z0xfa

  

→ Even a meaningless joke can lead a girl's life to a dangerous direction.

#The Power of Words: https://goo.gl/gsDp4P

→ Words, if used properly, can also affect people in a positive way

Log #3

Pages Read: 119-157

    Viviane gave birth to Ava and her brother Henry, the former with a pair of wings, and the latter with the oddity not to speak a word until a dog broke into their life. Considering the kids might get hurt, Viviane never let them and even herself out of the house. So she was not aware that jack was back to town— with his fiance. Meanwhile, the bakery Ava's grandmother ran faced obstacles when war ended and enemies arose. That however only showed how competitive her bakery was. Ava and Henry, strange to the neighborhood as they were, still grew up and made friends.

    What I learned this time was that we should cherish what we have when we still own it. As the story unveiled, John, Jack's demanding and strict father, lost his wife after she found herself unable to make any sacrifice for the man no more. She used to tolerate every bit of his bad temper. Now that she was fed up, she just left, vanishing into thin air. Not until she was gone did John realize that his whole life could not have be so well served had it not been for her wonderful wife. As a result, I think we should deem as treasure those who also see us as their precious. Additionally, we should not take what they to for me as  granted. Instead, we should always be grateful and pay back.

    As I read, I found it amusing to read the conversations between children, and those between Gabe and Viviane. The former is amusing because they are always simple, naive, and full of imagination, from which I found  the purity of my childhood friendship. As for the latter,  every time I read the conversations between the two who wanted to but could not have the "Jack shall have Jill" story, my heart  hurts as if someone pours salty water onto my cut. The pain just lingered around my body. They were so eager for each other and would be such a nice-looking couple, if it had not been for the evil and cunning Jack.

    The story would surely gets more and more fascinating as it discloses. Ava is absolutely going to confront with difficulties. I look forward to her brave ventures. 

Log #2

Pages Read: 81-119

    Gabe became one of the family member under Ava's grandmother's request. He was so fascinated with Viviane, Ava's mother, that everything he did he did for her. Nevertheless, his timidness and her deep love for Jack, her long missed boyfriend made them just friends. Then on an annual celebration day, Viviane finally got to meet Jack. However, he was with another girl, a girl he was going to marry. The news broke her heart, yet her affection for Jack allowed him to lay his fingers on her, for the last time. Days went by, he disappeared again and Viviane was pregnant. She did not stop feeling empty until she gave birth to Ava and her twin brother, Henry, and was still hoping he would be back.

    I think that it is important to let bygones be bygones. What we should do is to cherish what we own in the present and live on. Since there is no use crying for spilled milk, we should lay emphasis on moving on. On one hand, the past should be seen as warnings and lessons should be learned from it. On the other hand, if we are haunted by the past, we would not only constantly feel powerless and pain, but we will also forget to live in the moment, letting the past become a giant rock that stop us from keeping going.

    By Viviane's side there was Gabe, the man that would surely treat Viviane better. I would definitely turn to Gabe If I were Viviane.  Nonetheless her heart was filled with Jack that she ignored what Gabe could bring. When we focus too much on the major, we fail to also notice the minor. Just as if we were driving alongside the coast. We cannot put more stress on looking forward and pay attention to the traffic, but wouldn't it be a pity that we missed the grand scenery near us? Sometimes it would be better that we slow down and just enjoy the views.

    Now that Ava's life has begun, I just cannot wait to see what would happen to her!

Log #1

Pages Read: 1-80

   For the first book of this semester, I chose " The Strange and Beautiful Sorrows of Ava Lavender" by Leslye Walton. Published in 2014, the book is a tale that Ava Lavender, a girl born with wings on her back, tries to discover where her wings are from and endeavors to fight against the prejudices the world places on her. I chose this book because I love tales and the cover caught my attention when I wandered in the book store. The plots look nice, too. However mostly, it is because I planned to finish it last semester but I failed. I feel that I have the responsibility for it. After this book, I hope I can find the courage and confidence to live my life paying no attention to others' judgement.

  From page 1-80, Ava dated back her family history, from her grandmother to her mother. Her grandmother's family was rooted in France in the beginning. Nevertheless, their happy and peaceful days were torn into piece as they moved to America, where they had expected prosperity. Leading a miserable life, Ava's grandmother was believed to be cursed since everyone near her passed away, including her lover, parents, and siblings. Ava's mother, though born under such tough situation, looked on the bright side and actively face what her fate brought her. What brought her down was her boyfriend, who promised her to write her letters from college but disappeared in the end.   

  I appreciate Ava's grandmother's and mother's attitude toward life. Knowing that nothing would happen, they themselves decided to change their mindset. For every difficulty I encounter, I expect myself not to be afraid. Instead, I want to see it as a challenge where I can grow and make myself better. 

  One thing I want to mention about the book is that I really don't enjoy it to talk about the long story of one thing just to show the weak connection. For example, the author spent chapters talked about the house Ava's mother lived afterwards, which is of no importance. Oh a waste of pages, and time. Well, I guess I am practicing my patience.
  

My Reading History

    I regard myself as a reader. I always am. I might stop sometimes as my value changed, but fortunately I resumed.

    I started my Chinese reading history  as early as when I was in elementary school. I was forced to hand in reading reflections every week. I was unwilling in the beginning. However, I discovered the magic of reading. Not only did it make my mind peaceful while I was reading, but it also helped my thoughts become logical. To be honest, I enjoyed it a lot. Then I studied in junior high school, where I stopped reading to maintain my academic performances. In this period, I only read when I was required to. Added the pressure from exams, studies, and competition between peers, reading was the last thing I pursued because it seemed to be useless when I was eager for better performances at school. However, the great turning point that once again lit my passion for reading was the book called "Life of Pi." The vivid descriptions of the book allowed me to imagine the scenes the character came across. My imagination flied freely line by line, so did my feelings. Tasting the sweetness of reading, I was fond of books again. That was when I was a high school student. As I grew up, the books I read changed from picture books and fairy tales to encyclopedias and novels or biographies. Now I literally read every kind of books.

    My English reading history was triggered by movies. The movie that brought me into the world of English reading was entitled "The Fault in Our Stars." I was so moved by the film that I immediately made up my mind to buy the novel it was adapted from after I finished the movie. As soon as I read the book, I fell in love with the joy it brought me to interpret the sentences in the way I want. By doing so, I found the connection between me and the book, the connection that only belonged to me and the book. Having experienced the happiness of English reading, I started reading film adaptions, such as "The Book Thief," "Le Petit Prince," and "Paper Towns," most of which are aim for teenagers. I do not mind though. I read whatever I want and that is why I can continue reading. However, it would be a plus if there is a film version of a book.

    Recently I have been reading "The Strange & Beautiful Sorrows of Ava Lavender" — for a semester due to procrastination. I hope I can finish the book this semester and I have to do it. Since the world of books is boundless, I don't want to keep other books waiting. That would be so sad and a pity of my life.