Log #7

Log#7

"Let’s cross over." －Eat, Pray, Love

Eat, Pray, Love is one of the novels I read in my childhood. Liz had a marriage but failed it because she finally couldn’t really feel herself in this relationship. She escaped. Escaping from one relationship into another one but failed again, she couldn’t put up with “This is not me anymore”. Then, she was afraid to fall in love again. Due to the failure of love, Liz tried to find herself and explore through traveling. She prayed and loved and met many people during this journey. Without this self-exploration, she would not have found herself and found what she needed at last.  

I just reread this book. Different from me before, this time, it feels like reviewing myself. I think I am somehow similar to Liz. Or, I believe I must more or less have mimicked her since I knew her. For example, I pray like Liz does. I can’t remember when I started it, but at my miserable time, I pray. For the first time when I was praying, I felt a little bit weird and doubtful (just like Liz’s first pray); nonetheless, I’d done it, because I thought I must do it to offset my cynicism and pessimism. And it usually works. I pray every time when I think my life goes wrong－arguments with friends or family, broken heart of my love, pressure from academic and school clubs, and confusion on mu future…… Although I pray, I’m not pray to any religion or any God. Frankly speaking, I don’t exactly whom I am praying to. (Maybe to the sky, I guess.) However, it is pray that makes me appreciate people and things around me. It makes my attitude toward life better than before. More relieved. After rereading this book, I was reminded of my connection to Liz’s pray.

“Dear saint, please, please, please let me win the lottery.”
“My son, please, please, please buy a ticket.”

This is an Old Italian joke stated in this novel. Praying makes us relieved; however, we still have to take some action. This is also the main point of this book－dare to try. I think I’m alike Liz, but one thing I am lack of is courage. The courage to try. Therefore, after the college, after twice failed solo travel, after I was too confused to life, I finally decided to try something new: school club.

I joined in dance club in my first year of college because I adored and admired one of my friends as a dancer. I didn’t want to just envy her. Thus, I was with some of my classmates, with the hope that we would have a colorful freshman year, participating in this big club. However, things went below my expectation. We had to prepare for the final performance in the end of that year, but I found it challenging to learn the dance. With the same experience and the same practice, I was always behind others. Worse yet, I feared to make friends with others due to my uncofidence. I danced badly. And I thought I was even worse than any other one in that group. I lost all of my confidence in these days, but I was still praying. Yet, you know, things would not be better if you just pray for it. Additionally, dance practice took so much time that I had little time to take care for my relationship and thus, my boyfriend (now is ex-one) always had quarrels with me due to my neglect of him. I felt so miserable during these days. Everything went wrong.

I could either quit that stupid performance, but if I did, I might be blame by my peers (my dance group then) and had to bear the pressure. So I was on the stage on that day, eventually. At the very last moment, I was still anxious, fearful, strained. Up to the stage, I tried to finish the performance. Down the stage, I sobbed. I lost all my confidence from it because I knew I didn’t get it well done. You must want to blame me: why don’t you practice it perfectly before the performance? But it’s just because I couldn’t! It’s just like telling a tone-deaf to sing! I was disappointed with myself, too. Every time for practice dancing, I blamed myself before others blamed me. I was still devaluating myself.    

“I'm going for it. I have no interest in being obese. I'm just through with the guilt.”

Dance becomes one of my most fear things so that I will never, ever dance for performance anymore. Nevertheless, I know if I didn’t buy the ticket to dance, I will never have a chance to try, and I will regret for it, even I never won that "lottery". More importantly, I will never know I am not for there. Actually, I got nothing there, neither a good performance nor a group of good friends, but the experience. The experience to dance on the stage in front of hundreds of people (I danced badly, though). The experience to try something I have adored for. The experience to waste my time. The experience to quit everything I love and bury myself into one thing which I had lost my passion on. Life gives us chances to experience, and we’d better make as many as mistakes before we have a chance to experience all these mistakes. I doubted myself and felt isolated for several time during these three months effort; nevertheless, when it’s all ended, I felt relieved and became more independent. Still, I want to try something new, but next time, I know how to carefully make the choice.

Log #6

Trying Solo Travel

People usually think it’s terrible to be alone. Thus, most of them usually go with each other and feel the sense of insecurity without others. I used to be one of them too. In my junior high, I was always with my best friends. We dined together, walked home together, and even went to the restroom together. We went anywhere with “someone”. It seemed that people cannot do anything without others. At that time, I took it for granted. Human is a social animal.

However, this made me a close-hearted person. I was dependent to my best friends; that is, I needed other’s company, or I might be unable to do anything. Finally, I felt limited and gradually hated myself. I hated myself for I needed others. I hated myself for I had to be in group and catered to others. I hated myself for caring others’ opinions so much. Sometimes I couldn’t do what I loved just due to my best friends’ unwillingness. Just like how Matt was limited by his friend at the beginning. I appreciated for his courage to travel alone. In the meantime, I hated my dependence and coward. Actually, I had tried to do the solo travel when in senior high. I expected it to make me better.

For the first time, I went traveling alone. There was no one with me. I arrange the itinerary for myself, mostly the recommended spot I searched on the internet. When I took the train and then arrived Tainan, I was excited but also fear, because it was the first time I was alone in a strange place. I didn’t need to cater to others but I could listen to my heart. I thought so. Yet, I got lost again and again. (I hadn’t learnt how to use Google map at that age!) The winding path gradually cut down my passion. I felt helpless in the crossroad, not knowing where to go. At last, I called my friend in Tainan to come to my rescue and to company me in the rest of the trip. After this trip, I felt confused. I didn’t know what I want. Nevertheless, I knew I was happy and received with my friend in the rest of that trip.  

Few months later, I tried another solo travel. I traveled to a city with nobody knowing me, but the same, the itinerary was referred to the ones on the internet. This time, I succeeded. However, I felt the sense of hollowness and loneliness. What did I really want? Therefore, I started to think about whether there was something wrong. I couldn’t figure out then.

“And so it turned out that only a life similar to the life of those around us, merging with it without a ripple, is genuine life, and that an unshared happiness is not happiness … and this was most vexing of all.” －Boris Pasternak’s Doctor Zhivago 

 Why I couldn’t travel alone happily? I couldn’t really realize until I saw what Boris Pasternak said. He said, “Happiness can’t be called happiness unless it’s shared.” This is the reason why I didn’t enjoy my first trip at first but felt received once my friend appeared. This is the reason why I still felt disappointed during the second solo travel. In the first solo travel, I was unhappy and felt unconfident. When my friend came to me, I shared with him how I just traveled alone. I felt delighted because I shared my happiness with him, and thus, the happiness became the real happiness. On the other hand, in the second travel, I felt frustrated and tried to challenge again. Although I succeed, I didn’t go through myself.

After that, I haven’t travel alone again anymore, but I know how to travel happily.

http://www.travelandleisure.com/slideshows/best-countries-for-solo-travelers

http://alittleadrift.com/loneliness/

https://solotravelerworld.com/hiking-canada-chile-austria-united-kingdom/

Concept Map

Log #5

TED- Why Bother Leaving the House?
https://www.ted.com/talks/ben_saunders_why_bother_leaving_the_house/transcript?language=en

“If you cannot understand that there is something in man which responds to the challenge of this mountain and goes out to meet it, that the struggle is the struggle of life itself upward and forever upward, then you won't see why we go.“

People may regard Ben Saunders, the speaker in this video, as an explorer, but I want to call him a life-lover. He went to pole for several months, with no specific itinerary. He walked along the coast to feel the movement of Iceland. He traveled for sheer joy. Also, he planned to finish the mountain climbing which others didn’t finish and encouraged us to walk outside exploring the world.

“I can try to tell you what it was like, but you'll never know what it was like until you get there.”

Exploring the world can be either simple or challenging. What’s the meaning of exploring? We can rather go shopping or stay in a park and take pictures with artificial installations. However, if so, in my opinion, it’s not “exploring.” There is where someone wants you to go. It’s human-made scenery. It can’t even be called as scenery! It’s like the bloggers have been there and took pictures and uploaded them for everyone, and after you see that, you know what it will be like. Then here, you have known all of them, and you can’t have the value of exploring it.

So, what’s the true exploring? It should be to rebuild your altitude, or to find the meaning of life. It should get you know something new. And the most importantly, you will have your own story after the exploration, which can be shared to others, but can never be owned by others. This is because they’ll never know what it will be like until they get there. They have to explore by themselves.

“And it seems to me, therefore, that the doing, you know, to try to experience, to engage, to endeavor, rather than to watch and to wonder, that's where the real meat of life is to be found. Real inspiration and growth only comes from adversity and from challenge, from stepping away from what's comfortable and familiar and stepping out into the unknown.”

When I was little, my parents took me to travel everywhere. Since then, I have been dreaming of traveling alone to explore the world. Therefore, when I grew up, I took my first self-trip. Due to my age limited, I could only travel to the city in Taiwan. Thus, I stepped onto the train toward Tainan and started my own exploration. On the way, I looked out the window, imagining where I would get, and what I would find.

I am not going to detail my first self-trip. The result is I got lost in the unfamiliarity, and eventually I called my friend to rescue me up. After that, I hadn’t traveled by myself for long time. I wondered why I couldn’t finish my trip by myself…

Still, I tried to go exploring the outside world. 

Log #4

Some experts and researchers said that cutting down the emission would become useless to prevent sea level rising, and I think so too. Lessening the hurt can only slow down the destruction. Any of the environmental problems is not a piece of cake. It seems that the problem of sea level rising is too severe to be solved. Severe it is, each city in lower areas or polluted a lot comes up with its solution. There are two directions of their solution: green choice (optimistic) and gray choice (pessimistic).

Denmark(Lower Area)－Designing a lake for the use of detention pond.

The cities for green choice tend to be located in lower area. They might not be polluted a lot, but they have the risk at being submerged due to their geography weakness. Therefore, they would prefer the more eco-friendly solution to maintain their environment. Take Denmark for example. Denmark is a low-polluted country but it’s low-lying, so it has a chance to be swallowed by the ocean. The government decided to design a lake for the use of detention pond, which can not only be used as a recreation park in usual, but also increase planting to absorb water. What’s more, the street can lead surface runoff into the port to deal with the considerable rainwater. The city government has organized professional group and expects to solve the problem of sea level rising within these one hundred years.   

Shore of America－building embankment to defense the water

As for the gray solution, the city use whatever it can use to block itself from the overrising water. Embankment. Gate. Barrier. This kind of city is usually near the sea and has ports, such as the cities at shore of the US. The barrier is built to protect the city; however, the higher the sea level is rising, the more cities will be lower than the sea level. The whole city would be surrounded by water, and it’s hard to predict when the barrier would be defeated. The people would live in panic of not knowing when they would be drowned.

Howland－floating

Floating is another gray solution. Some countries have been severely submerged and water has flooding through the street. They choose to stay, so they come up with this solution－co-excision. The government plan to build “amphibious house” and “floating building.” These buildings are built on the water, so that people can live with water.

Taiwan is an island surrounded by the ocean. We are not submerged in current but we are ranked in high-risk countries to be submerged by the sea. Once the sea level rises up ten meters, 8.8% of Taiwan land will be submerged. It will be too late if we don’t take any action. 

Log #3

http://www.takepart.com/article/2013/04/22/rising-sea-levels-causes-and-solutions

https://www2.ucar.edu/atmosnews/news/9354/cutting-specific-pollutants-would-slow-sea-level-rise

I have read some articles about the impact of sea level rising and realized the seriousness of sea level rising from the past, to the current, and then in the future. In the following two week, we’ll continue to read the articles about the solutions to sea level rising. The changed climate has caused the melting iceberg, which results in sea level rising. Thus, we can assume that the major impact on sea level rising is global warming. How can we prevent this circumstance from getting worsen?

Let’s look back to the culprit－climate change. The emissions of human activities urge the temperature to rise, which makes the ocean heat-up and then the level rise. The primary emission is attributed to the burning of fossil fuels; therefore, to reduce specific pollutants is the most staple way to cope with this problem. The research team presumed that these specific emission－carbon dioxide (the main human-emitted), methane, soot, refrigerants, and gases－were the most imperative ones which we need to cut off the amount of emitting.

It is said that the Global Mean Sea Level (GMSL) has been rising by four to eight inches now. It sounds like a trivial; nevertheless, the truth is that the speed of rising rate has been accelerating so far. There are lots of things we can do for the globe, for example, turning off the light when you leave a room, lessening the use of air conditioner or at least adjusting the temperature higher. In our ordinary life, if some habits could be changed, the sea level rising might be able to slow down.  

Log #2

Sea level rising is happening all around the world every day. It is said that the primary cause of sea level rising is global warming. That is, the things we usually do can make temperature rise. What impact could the rising temperature put on our home? Land ice will melt into the ocean, and then sea level rises. These can destroy the globe. There’s no land ice in Taiwan. Nevertheless, for every one meter the sea level is rising, Taiwan will be invaded. Additionally, many farmers are pumping illegally in order to make more profits. This lure will cause severe land subsidence, and thus, indirectly result in sea level rising.

Some of these data are at least of 5 years ago; however, the condition hasn’t been improved until now. Due to our abusing the resources given from the Nature, she’s been in torture for a long time. The temperature is still rising; the pumped groundwater is still making our land submerged; the sea level is still rising endlessly. It is once predicted that the influence made with sea level rising would become hopeless at the end of the century. However, we seem to underestimate the degree of severity. We must take action as soon as possible before the tragedy happens, and change the fate before it changes our life.

Reference:

https://wattsupwiththat.com/2010/05/10/taiwan-subsidence-or-sea-level-rise/

http://www.ucsusa.org/global_warming/science_and_impacts/impacts/causes-of-sea-level-rise.htm

Log #1

Log#1－The Price of Rising Seas Level: Drowning Wetlands

https://sealevel.nasa.gov/news/72/the-price-of-rising-seas-drowning-wetlands

Some wetlands in California could become mudflats in the near future. What’s worse, they would one day disappear. It is said that the rate of rising sea level is the key to the disappearance of wetlands. That is, California could be totally different if we don’t take action for this worse and worse situation. It’s a warning not only for California, but also for the global－We would lose our home one day. This report analyzed and forecast the future of the wildlife in California. In the end of this century, they might lose any of the wetlands. It seems to aims at the district of California; however, rising sea level is happening in every low-lying place, resulting in submergence or drowning. Needless to say, once the habitat is submerged, those cherished animals would also be drowning.

How could it be if we lose some wildlife? Is there any impact on human beings? This global crisis is much more severe than we could imagine. However, the seas level is still rising and the wetlands are gradually drowning. It’s not only California’s business, but this situation also does harm to ecosystem as well as environment. The ecosystem could be destroyed and the environment could be changed into another one different from our current life. For example, the rate of sea level rise would become higher, and thus the estuaries could be modified. The balance of ecosystem would be changed. Eventually, we would lose vegetation and even a mudflat. We will have nothing left. It is a circumstance for California. I wonder what about Taiwan? We also have some places low-lying…

Log #8

Log #8

Title: The Fault in Our Stars

Author: John Green

Page: Finished

　　Hazel finally found the correspondents that Gus wrote before he died.　

　　When Hazel asked to travel to Amsterdam, her doctor said “It’s your life” and let her go. Although that it’s your life for you to choose is undoubtable, there are still something we can’t choose by ourselves. In this book, “notice” and “choose” are constantly mentioned. Hazel’s father said the universe wanted to be noticed; Hazel said we wanted to be noticed by the universe. She said the universe should give a shit to them－the people who suffer from inevitable fatal illness, such as Hazel and Gus). They have no choice to be born with disability. They can’t choose.

　　The title “the fault in our stars” is named after the lines in Julius Caesar by Shakespeare: The fault, dear Brutus, lies not in the stars, but in ourselves, that we are underlings.” It was when Cassius told Brutus that we failed not due to the fate (the stars) but our inability. It means that people can master their life if they have power. However, in Peter Van Houten’s letter, he disagree Shakespeare’s Cassius note. In some degree, people cannot choose whether healthy or sick.

Therefore, Gus said the person who notices things is hero. And it was Hazel noticed things; she was his heroine.  

　　In the end of Gus’ final letter, it said, “You don’t get to choose if you get hurt in this world, but you do have some say in who hurts you. I like my choice.” Hazel was afraid she would hurt Gus if they were in love; nevertheless, it was Hazel’s choice not to hurt Gus and it was Gus’ choice to be hurt by Hazel. So does it matter?

Log #7

Log #7

Title: The Fault in Our Stars

Author: John Green

Page: ~P. 291

With Gus’s cancer deteriorating, the pages in each chapter are fewer and fewer. And then Gus died. The rest of the pages are almost talking about mourning Gus’s death.

“Ignorance is bliss.” As we become adults, we have to know more things. More things we had imagined good but actually suck. I usually thinking that ignoring may be the best way to live happily. Not actually, however.

I think, the concept of the whole book is about remembering. To remember the people after he/she died and to be remembered by people after we die.

Hazel had kept thinking about how people would think of her after she died. She didn’t want to be remembered as a cancer fighter, but just “Hazel”. I contemplate over the question of what I want people to remember me. I hold no answer yet. A cancer patient will be remembered as a cancer fighter; a novelist will be remembered as a writer. And what am I?

There’s what Hazel’s father told her: “Universe wants to be noticed.” I love the theory he believed. However, the fact is that, we want to be noticed by the universe. The unfair universe gives everyone what they should be given. Some people have everything while some people have nothing. I know I want to be noticed by the universe too. Although I am lucky enough to have a healthy body－which Hazel and Gus didn’t have－sometimes I still think it has stolen many important things from me. The universe is injustice. But on the contrast, what do we give the universe?

I was confused about Peter (the author of AIA in this story)’s attitude in Amsterdam; I thought John Green must give us an explanation, and he did. When Hazel went to visit Peter, she wore in Anne (the main character in AIA)’s style, which made Peter mad. Peter first said AIA was a fiction but admitted it was based on his dead daughter. I wonder whether John Green really made up this novel as he reminded us of in the front page. There are many forms of remembering: building a statue, composing a song, or writing a novel, for the dead. For me, I want to be remembered in a novel. There will be full of my life, including the people I have met through my life. Maybe.

The closer to the end of the book, the torturing it is. I had started to cry even before Gus’s death, and it is too heartbreaking to continue this story, though there are not many pages left… Actually, when I found Gus was about to die, I stopped reading this book for days because I didn’t want this happened. Sadly, however, it had to happen. The novel is novel, but sill, it’s a life of someone. Whether a fake someone or a real someone, his life had been decided by the author. (I’m so sad now and I am still mourning for Gus.) 

At last, Isaac said Gus had mentioned he wrote a sequel of AIA for Hazel. Because the perspective of this book is from Hazel, I wonder what Gus would say. It might explain what Gus’s life is and what he thought about Hazel.  

Log #6

Title: The Fault in Our Stars

Pages: ~218(unfinished)

Gus used his only Wish for Hazel to visit the author of AIA. However, when they finally got to Amsterdam and saw Peter, the results seemed unpleasant…

“I was left on the shore with the waves washing over me, unable to drown.” It was what in Hazel’s mind when she found herself got worse. I know it’s a sorrowful and painful to make her feel dying, but all she could do was to feel it rather than just go for dying. I had once got mentingitis(腦膜炎), which would cause severe headache.   

At that time, lying in the bed, I didn’t want to move even for an inch. The thought of dying flashed into my mind for thousands times but the illness still not severe enough to bring me into death. Furthermore, I knew I couldn’t. Additionally, I liked what Gus said: “Pain demands to be felt.” We definitely need to feel pain. Pain is a process of life. Pain is inevitable. Pain is a catalyst to urge us growing up.

In the beginning, Hazel was so afraid that she would hurt Gus because she was ill. She thought she was a grenade for those who loved her. So, does one person has privilege to hurt somebody who loved him/her? No. No one has the privilege to hurt anyone, but they might hurt. Or when Gus was so hesitated to tell Hazel he got cancer tumor all over his body, he was afraid too, afraid to hurt the one he loved and loved him. Nonetheless, it’s not always our fault to hurt. Love hurts. It’s just like the pain, demands to be felt.

When Doctor Maria finally agreed Hazel to go Amsterdam, she said, “It’s your life.” That’s right. Totally agree. Although Hazel couldn’t choose whether sick or healthy, at least it should be her to choose the other parts of her life. It was her life. That makes me think that, if we were the severely sick one here, which would we choose? I think, if it were I, I would rather enjoy the rest of my life than receive the maybe-useless treatment. I know it’s passive and pessimistic. Each person may have different choices. I just want to pursue what I really live for, and I don’t want myself to live for just living.

I also like the concept－our world is not a wish-granting factory. It may sound pessimistic, but it’s the truth. How we wish our world was a wish-granting factory!

I really wonder what’d happen in the next chapter－what’d happen after Gus’ confession to his new tumors and why Peter Van Houten (the author of AIA) was so rude to them.

Log #5

Book: The Fault in Our Stars

Author: John Green

Page: ~P. 90

Hazel is a girl with thyroid cancer. Her parents took her to Support Group in the hope that she could feel supportive. In there, she met Augustus－the boy with prosthetics totally drew a charm on her－and they became so close to each other. They discussed together about Hazel’s favorite book An Imperial Affliction and both fascinated to the puzzling ending. Thus they decided to visit the author to check it out.

　　Actually, Hazel hated Support Group because she thought what people there did was sharing their tragedy and taking pity on each other. She intended to escape; on the other hand, she wanted her parents happy. So she went at last, and met Augustus. I have been thinking that it is destiny. We meet many people in our life. Some people would eventually leave at some time while some would stay. It’s so fortunate that a total stranger becomes one of your closest one and you two can share things together.  

　　I like Augustus's metaphor. He took cigarette on his month but never lit it. He said it was a metaphor of death, a metaphor that reminded of death. We all need a reminder in our life, to remind us of some important things. I used to have a reminder－a   bracelet－to often reminds me of  persistence. Every time  I felt depressed and wanted to give up, I thought of my bracelet. 

Three best presentations

Three best presentations

Cindy Cheng: Seriously, I’m kidding

She seemed to market this book, and she succeeded. I like the way she introduced this book, from the reason she chose it, the introduction on the back of the book (actually there is no introduction but the author’s self-recommend), and how she loved that book. There are many little enlightening stories in this book that made me feel like reading it.

Patty: Me Before You

Having seen this movie before, I didn’t think about reading its novel version. However, after Patty’s sharing, I was convinced and wanted to read it one day. I like the quote: You only get one life. It’s actually your duty to live it as fully as possible. Because she saw this book, she quit her job. She didn’t want to give in to the life she didn’t want anymore, but to live the life she really wanted. I admire so much for her attitude of life. It is the thing what I want to do but never do.

Marcus: TED

At the beginning, I thought it a boring book because it looks like a textbook and usually I don’t like the textbook. But Marcus’s sharing is attracting and motivated. He said the key to deliver a good speech is to forget good, to practice more, and to be faith. I am not good at speech, so I think I should read this book. Maybe I’ll found it interesting after reading it. Furthermore, I think his PPT slice is animated and amazing. 

Log #4

Title: P.S. I love you

Pages: p.316~470 (FINISH)

Holly had finally opened the eighth, ninth, and the last letter. She had been following the instructions from Gerry for ten year and it was time for her to follow her own heart.

In the eighth letter, Gerry encouraged Holly to find a job she loved. She finally got one and buried herself in it. When I broke up with my ex-boyfriend, I also made myself always occupied. In that situation, I needn’t be worried about anything I should be worried－my awful feelings, my broken heart, friends’ gossip (probably on me), and so on. I tried to make myself block from the world to hide my sorrow. But eventually, the ones who really care about you will complain: why you become so busy and why you refuse those sincere cares? When we are crying to die, maybe someone else is crying for you, too. It’s no need that we make ourselves “look good” when we actually feel bad.

After Gerry died, Holly had been following his instruction and regarded the letters as Bible. As a result, she was afraid to accept the next relationship. I think it’s a dilemma many people would face. When your one relationship goes to the end, you still grieve over the death of the relationship. However, the next one just comes too soon. I faced this difficulty months ago. I was so sad that I ended an over-one-year relationship and I thought how happy we had been but eventually not happy anymore. Then I met up with many other nice guys and found myself fall in love with them. And I asked myself, why could I love another person so soon? So I ran away and hid my feelings as Holly did. At last I thought I was wrong. It’s not my fault. It’s just my feelings. Why don’t I accept my feelings?

Holly made me think of myself a lot. (She is Taurus as me!) Many situations she faced are what I had faced. I’m glad to see she could finally follow her heart and live a satisfied life. But I know, Gerry is still living in her heart, supporting her.

Log #3

Log #3

Title: P.S. I love you

Pages: p.187~p.315

                                                                                                                                       Holly opened the fifth and the sixth letters. It was Gerry prepared a one-week holiday to Lanzarote for her and her friends. After returning from Lanzarote, Denise held a “Happy Couples United.” In that event, Denise announced her engagement to Tom, and Sharon also announced her pregnancy. That shocked Holly because she never thought about it. The worst of all, she thought she could never experience the happiness her best friends had. The next month Holly opened the seventh letter. The next mission Gerry gave her was to find a job.

I think it’s so incredible that Gerry secretly arranged a trip for Holly. The author used the prospective to describe the process that Gerry went to the travel agent. I could see the weak Gerry escaped from his bed to prepare the elegant gift and those encouraging letters for his lovely wife. I think the reason he asked Holly to relax is that he knew after he’s gone, Holly might be beat up by the sorrow. But she needed to go on her life. When in Lanzarote Holly read the sixth letter, I was weeping with Holly. It this letter, it seemed that Gerry was chatting with Holly at usual. He’s right there with Holly.

When Holly was told the good news about her best friends, she found herself couldn’t afford it. I could realize it. You hear good news from your best friends when you feel down in the dumps. How could you feel happy for them? If it was I, I would feel jealous too. Holly had lost her husband, and she could have his baby anymore. The happy scenes from her friends would even more sarcastic. Even though, I think we should see those good news from friends as a positive thing.

The seventh letter is about Holly’s job. She had been no job for almost one year because she lost Gerry. It’s amazing that she was cheered up just because Gerry’s word. It’s such a healer for her. Sometimes we can’t go on our life by ourselves but we need something from our beloved one to encourage us. It’s difficult to go through this kind of sorrow and continue life as nothing happened at all. We still need a branch to hold, to generate our courage. 

Log #2

Log #2

Title: P.S. I love you

Pages: p.88~p.177

In the May’s letter, Gerry asked Holly to participate in a karaoke competition. It was an embarrassing experience for Holly to sing a karaoke, but Gerry wanted her to go through it. Fortunately, her family and friends were all there to support her on that day. She stood on the stage and finally conquered her fear. For Holly, it seemed that Gerry was definitely somewhere with her. In the next month, Gerry told Holly she didn’t need his belongings anymore and asked her to throw away them. And Holly did it. On the other hand, Holly’s brother Declan shot a documentary about club life called “The Girls and the City,” which made Holly mad because it was aired on TV and it contained much buffoonery of Holly’s, making her embarrassed. Also, she was afraid others would know her sorrow for losing Gerry.   

There is a situation when one faces something difficult and he attempts to escape but eventually still fails to escape. We all have encountered this. When Holly was waiting for her turn to go on the stage, she was so nervous because she didn’t want to sing and most importantly she thought she was bad at it. She was attempting to escape from what she feared. I think I have this kind of experience as well, or frankly speaking, everyone has. Every time when I speak English in front of the class or a group of people, I feel nervous and cannot help trembling. It is because for a long time, English speaking is my weakness. Or, I think it my weakness. When we don’t believe in ourselves, we would fear to fail. We’ll be afraid of making mistakes and think it so unbearably shameful. However, it can be conquered. We can’t always run away from the things we fear. The solution to conquering the fear is to bravely face it. I believe, to keep trying, I will eventually gain enough courage.

As for the documentary Declan shot, after Holly saw it, she was in total panic. Because she saw herself drunk in the film and she knew why. She was drunk for Gerry. And she was afraid others would know it and felt sad for her. We are usually worried about other’s thought and try to seal our own thought. But the truth is the people who really care you will not embarrass you. They will comfort you in the right way.      

Log #1

Log #1

Title: P.S. I love you

Pages: ~p.87

Holly and Gerry had been a sweet and happy couple. One day, however, Gerry passed away and left Holly alone. Holly was extremely stuck in deep sorrow and the grief and solitude overwhelmed her because he played important roles of her best friend, lover, and soul mate. A few days after that, Holly’s mom asked her to collect the package which says at the top “The List.” It contained envelopes labeled months on them. Then Holly realized that Gerry wanted her to open these envelopes according to the labeled month: one instruction for one month. As a result, Holly tried to follow Gerry’s instruction. In the process of it, she felt relieved and first found she could be at ease without Gerry’s company.

When I first saw the title of this book, I thought it was just a romantic love story, and maybe about a boy pursuing a girl and interwove some touching and cute plot. However, when I flicked the pages, I found I would definitely cry for this book because I knew Gerry was not there anymore. So I try to imagine how painful it would be to lose my beloved man forever. Would I lose the purpose of living all of a sudden and mess up with my life like Holly did? Can I adapt to the new life that has nothing to do with the one who was the most important person in my life? Imagine this scenario is like imagine you lose one of your vital organs. How can people bear such kind of pain? Fortunately, Gerry’s List was such a life buoy for Holly. But for me, although it’s soothing to know my husband has been dead but left me something, it’s still unbearable to think of the fact that he is not there. For we could have had a dinner together tonight, he could have slept by my right side, he could have been there…. There are so many could-have events but I can no longer have any of them. How dreadful it would be!

Cecelia Ahern’s words have the power to make us enter the emotion she wants us in. For example, when Cecelia carefully describes Holly’s feeling after she finally finished dealing with Gerry’s funeral and tried to calm herself down, it’s amazing that I breathed in and out along with Holly and then I felt the same feeling of peace. It is the author’s power of words. She uses her words to direct me into the emotion of the characters in the story, and then I can go through the situation. I like this feeling. 

My Reading History

When I was a little girl, I read several novels with my sister because Dad usually took us to rent books from the book store. Most of these novels were similar, for they all were love story. As a result, I can’t remember one of them. In addition, Mom used to read some magazines to help improve her gardening skills, so I also read with her. Actually, I think I was the child who read anything given to me.

However, when I am growing up, I choose what I read. The change is probably due to the heavy schoolwork I have to handle with. I have a little time spared to do my reading, so I can only pick the books I really, really, really, want to read. Now, rather than the hollow ones that just let me laugh or like a soup opera, I prefer the books that touch my heart or give me some reflections. For example, The Hunger Games which mentions the corruption of government, society problems, and complicated relationships is one of the books I like most. A good book, in my opinion, can change people’s value to good one. And this book deeply influenced me to care for those who are poverty or have no human rights.

On the other hand, The Hunger Games is also the first English book I have ever read because after I finished the Mandarin version, I’d like to know how the author Suzanne Collins tells her story. Thus, when I first saw the English version, I bought it at once. Unfortunately, this is the last English novel I read owing to the heavier schoolwork and many extracurricular activities. I try to read another English novel, only to find I have little time. Currently, the English books I have read are all requirement, not for entertainment. (Hope this class can help me find my passion for reading English books)