Log #7

Self-Doubt: What is it All About?

Truly, I am a person who has self-doubt and can't make decisions quickly. After seeing the article which is posted by the teacher, I think self-doubt isn’t an element that makes us depressed; rather, it could help us become stronger.

“True life is short and it is going to be over before you are ready”, which I like very much, is a sentence said by Rhonda Chrane. Whenever I make big decisions, I would ponder for several days and ask for my friends’ suggestions. I like to try new challenges but I would worry about whether I have the ability to handle it or not, which means that I doubt myself unconsciously. Take me for example. I still can remember the two unforgettable experiences of self-doubt. (One is that I defeat self-doubt and the other is that I was defeated by it.)

For one I overcome self-doubt. That was the first time I served as a vice coordinator of Christmas activity that was held by my club. In the beginning, my senior sister asked me whether I had the interest to be a vice coordinator of this activity or not. At that time, I hesitated for several days because I doubted that whether I had the ability to hold such a big activity or not. I was worried about my carelessness would cause a big problem. However, in my heart, I wanted to try a new challenge that I haven’t experienced before. After consulting with my close friends, I decided to take it and stop living in my own comfort zone. I wouldn’t deny the process of holding this activity was hard and tired; however, I liked a sense of accomplishment at the end of this activity. At that night when I slept on my bed, I couldn’t believe I not only made it but also made it very well!! Then I realized that I had the ability to hold the activity but I was a lack of confidence. As long as I defeated it, everything would be much easier than I thought.

As for the one that I was defeated by self-doubt. Half year ago, my senior sister gave me information, which aimed to cultivate international talent. I was interested in joining this plan; however, again, I was worried about whether I had the ability to join it or not. I spent several days thinking about this question; thus,  I missed the chance to prepare and sign up for it. Now, I can only see the photos that are posted by the organization on FACEBOOK and regret why I dare not to give myself a chance to take the challenge.

Like Rhonda Chrane says “True life is short and it is going to be over before you are ready.” Life is quite short, I need to seize every chance to do what I want and be the one I want to be.

Log #6

Recently, I have pondered a question whenever I sleep on the bed alone. That is – what is your definition of being friends? Playing together? Working together? Or accompanying with each other?
Last week, one of my friends asked me “why do you have so many friends around you?” I was shocked for a while and replied “do I? why did you say that?” He said “ I see you and your friends(sometimes would be different people) eat together, shop together, and walk together on the way or some photos on the Internet ”

On that day night, there was a question came into my mind. Did I really have so many friends around me as he said? Honestly, I have met lots of friends since I was in elementary school. However, how many friends would appear when I was depressed or in need? Whenever I thought about this question, I could count with my fingers immediately. Take my senior high for example. After graduation, my closest friends were busy in school affairs (clubs or schoolwork) and even accompanied their boyfriends. Thus, it would be a little bit hard for us to have a meal together like we used to be. At first, I was not accustomed to this situation and wondered why our friendship could be like this. After discussing and pondering, we knew that we still cared about each other even though we couldn’t meet every day.

As time goes by, I realize that there are different kinds of friends around me. Some people who I can talk to, some people who I can travel with, and some people who can only be acquaintances, etc. As I grew up, I think my true friends become less and less while acquaintances become more and more. I started to wonder what kind of reason causes this problem. Distance? Or mind? In my opinion, I think that as we grow up, we have to worry about our futures and we have own thoughts or plans. Compared to the present, we didn’t need to think about future and just focus on our school works in our childhood. We have lots of time to understand our friends deeper. I am not saying that we can’t make true friends when we grow up. No, we can definitely make true friends as long as we open our minds showing the true feelings in front of each other. It couldn’t be better having a true friend around us; share any kinds of feeling, accompany each other, and become the better person.

Anyone can show up when you're happy. But the ones who stay by your side when your heart falls apart, they are your true friends. -- Brigitte Nicole.

Concept Map

Log #5

The Journey of Self-Discovery! My Decision to Find Myself!

Life is a journey. What we should care about is not where it's headed but what we see and how we feel. This sentence is easy for me to say; however, it is very hard for me to fulfill. I have lived for over twenty years ( I am going to be a 21 years old woman in several months ), but I haven’t faced myself until I was a sophomore in my college because I supposed that it was too far from me and what I needed to do was to take care of my studies. However, do I really satisfy with my daily life? What I have now is the one I like? The topic of self-discovery has been appeared in my life again and again from my parents or teachers even from my peers. As time goes by, I gradually realize that my life isn't just confined to studies; instead, there is something more important than that. Self-discovery is the one that I need to know first.

        There is a sentence in the article “What I know for sure is that we are usually our own worst enemy.” I agree with this sentence very much! Take me for example. After attending in college, I wanted to train myself to be an independent woman who I have wished for since I was in senior high. However, I actually dared not to go to the restaurant or went shopping alone because I was afraid of people who sought me sit on the chair alone would think I had no friend to accompany. At that time, I was definitely a woman who cared about other’s comments on me. It took me about one year to try not to think too much by reading some inspiring article or talking with my dear friends. Afterward, I realize that I am my own enemy; there is no one can confine what you want to do, they are all outsiders and we are the people who know ourselves the most.

        Of course, the way to discover yourself isn’t that easy and I haven’t discovered myself completely either. However, I think as long as I keep finding my interest, reading others’ experiences, and trying different kinds of challenges, I can definitely be a person who I want.

“When I discover who I am, I’ll be free.”  — Ralph Ellison, Invisible Man

source:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/eleni-makedonas/the-journey-of-selfdsicvo_b_7028362.html

Log #4

Social media can make you feel both magical and miserable

The first sentence in this article “The internet can lift you up as quickly as it tears you down” raises my attention to read the following paragraphs. We can’t deny that the internet has really changed our life in a certain way. Have you ever imagined living without a cellphone for only one day? Take me, as an example, I feel weird (or it can be described as “worried”)when my cellphone be taken for half of a day. I am not a person who likes to check notifications on Facebook or Instagram and reply messages constantly. However, even so, I still feel restless as my cellphone isn’t around me. I think I have been influenced by the internet deeply without conscious.

As the article I read, some teenagers use the internet to have a connection with society or use it to find solace; however, in reality, they are being watched by others on every hour of every day in the same time. "You can't post anything because you can't trust anyone," said by Miller who is a professor. Before the internet hasn’t been used widely, we may not worry about what we said /what we wrote could be recorded by other; however, people in nowadays can copy it easily by screenshots or downloading. What we post may be misused by others and that is one of the reasons why we need to be careful of using the internet.

Social media can really make you feel not only magical but also miserable, and it all depends on how you use it. There are so many pros and cons that the internet brings to us; we can broaden our horizons by browsing international news; but, on the other hand, what we have done on the internet are already recorded and can be searched easily. Though the internet is useful, we should use it wisely and prevent it from becoming our burden. 

Source: http://mashable.com/2017/03/06/why-social-media-can-make-you-feel-miserable/#S3YSF2acZmq3 

Log #3

The social media problems gripping our girls

What kind of things did you do when you were ten to thirteen? Did you still remember that? Take me for example, I liked to played dolls, went to play guard with neighbors, finished homework after class, and exercised with my family. It seemed to nothing special for me; however, I have noticed that most of the children had their own cellphones when they were ten to thirteen.

Today, I read an article on news, reporting a case that a girl named Caroline is coerced by a 10-year-old boy at her school into texting him a photograph of her breasts. (That's ridiculous) How could he force his classmate doing that? Then I continue reading the following paragraph, and I realize it is social media that cause the problem (because they don’t want to be bullied by their classmates so that they compromise on requests). In addition, more and more children use age-restricted social media sites to meet strangers; in contrast, I used letter or MSN to contact people when I was young….

Why parents allow their children do that? Because many parents do not see the dangers inherent in the sites, as they are forming their opinion of them based on their own experience, experts say. Thus, I think parents should pay more attention to this issue not to let their kids indulge in social media and suffer from the pressure of that.

Despite the fact that we can’t live without social media, but neither can we rely on it too much. We can use it wisely, such as getting some information to enlarge our knowledge; but, be sure not to take most of the time using that.

Reference: http://www.abc.net.au/news/2017-03-18/social-media-problems-gripping-girls/8356008

Log #2

Does social media impact on body image?

We, as woman, would definitely care about our appearances. We want to be prettier, thinner, and taller; however, who says being thinner or taller means “pretty”? I start to be interested in this topic; thus, I search for some articles and videos upon that. Then I realize I have been deeply influenced by social media for even twenty years!

This weak, I chose the article called “Does social media impact on body image?” By reading this title, I asked myself and answered YES to this question. In this article, there was a woman called Kelsey Hibberd, who remembered her years at secondary school as being miserable due to chubbiness. And now, she is running a mentoring program, which aims to train people to deal with body confidence issues.How could she become a successful woman from being unconfident?

Since Kelsey Hibberd was young, she has quite aware of the power of social media. And she said to her students “You put forward your best self, and that can be a bit dangerous, because you naturally compare yourself to others”. I thought it really made sense because facebook or instagram were main ways of communicating to each other in young people. We may envy of other’s appearances and want to be the one we dream of; however, were these clothes, bags, shoes really suitable for us? Was that really necessary for us to be thinner or so-called “fashion”? Actually, people should have their own images of being beautiful rather than be framed by social media. Hope we can have our own definition of beauty and start to ponder on how social media influences us. 

Log #1

Topic : Image of social media on girls

Have you ever imagined you were a celebrity who you admired for and wanted to become them one day?  To me, I absolutely have.  I used to admire a female model in my senior high. I bought clothes and bags she recommended on her facebook or instargam; in that time, I assumed that was so-called “ beauty ” because there were so many girls admired her and dressed like her. I didn’t realize I wasn’t suitable for this style which was beyond my age until few couples of months passed. Afterwards, I tried some styles and found my own way of being beautiful.  

There are sentences that I agree very much in my source “However, I do believe that young girls need to learn how to perceive and react to social media, pop culture and entertainment in a more positive way. This isn’t taught in schools, and I highly doubt that our parents can honestly understand social media to understand its effects.” We really need to learn how to perceive and react to media rather than follow them unconsciously. We can’t be framed by the media, we need to use our brain to think whether I should listen or not, and I won’t be the one who I used to be.

Source : http://www.huffingtonpost.com/miribel-tran/the-effect-of-social-medi_b_5161886.html

Log #8

In order to live - Yeonmi Park 

          I finally finished my reading! Facing so many obstacles and difficulties, Yeonmi and her mom successfully arrived in South Korea. However, they still had no news about Eunmi, Yeonmi’s sister, for even seven years. Unwilling to give up, Yeonmi decided to use a show to find her missing sister; though some troubles may come behind, she still wanted to see Eunmi anyway. Fortunately, their family gathered together and livesd in South Korea together. Yeonmi read as much books as possible to enrich herself and tried lots of thing that she hadn’t experienced in North Korea and China. She even gave the speech about her story in South Korea; what she really wanted was to let more people know about so-called North Korea’s regime which caused about 1.6 million people die.

          Despite the fact that some people queried the reality of her words and tried to discourage her, she still conquered everything and got what she wanted. I have seen the video about her speech and people’s question about her; I still believe it is a true story because she illustrates every detail in a vivid way and expresses how hard her life is. In my opinion, Yeonmi is brave and has a strong heart to be free; sometimes, I would ask myself that did she really get the freedom after she escapes from North Korea and China? She tries hard to catch up with her classmate and tries hard to befriend with them while takes care of her mom and searches for her sister. I think she is so independent, intelligent and willing to take challenges. After reading this book, I strongly recommend to my friends not only because it is easy to understand but also because we can learn different aspects of living from this book “ In order to live”

Log #7

            In order to live 

           Yeonmi Park

          As the story went, the life of Yeonmi Park’ family didn’t get better though; instead, they lived separately and moved lots of places to live. Yeonmi Park’s father was in the prison while her mother tried to save her father; as for Yeonmi Park and her sister, they made their efforts to survive by themselves. These two sisters lived in their relative’s house and hoped their family would reunion one day. As they grew up, they were informed more and more things about getting away from North Korea would live a better life than ever; thus they decided to abscond. After Yeonmi Park and her mother escaped to China with so many barriers they encountered, the other side of darkness was actually waiting for them. They were “sold” by Chinese!! How could people treat human as things to sell? Yeonmi Park witnessed her mother was raped by man; I just couldn’t believe if my relative was raped while I couldn’t do anything but to silence. 

          I supposed it would be better if they escaped from North Korea and experienced different culture. However, out of my expectation, they were distributed to be someone’s wife even they were forced to have sex with other reluctantly. I was completely astonished by how dark the world was. I have ever heard the darkness and corruption in the society on television or from my parents; now I read the true story from the first person perspective. That was so cruel and unbelievable; I even dare not to imagine the terrible scene. Yeonmi Park’s life was so tortuous that we couldn’t imagine easily; I read her book with not only shocking but also admiring heart to enter her inconceivable world.

Log #6

          In the former chapters which were mentioned about the life of Yeonmi Park, I supposed it was the toughest life that we couldn’t imagine in North Korea. They needed to bear the freezing weather, search food for themselves, and find the way to survive. To them, it was a commonplace as usual. What’s worse, in the following chapters, their condition didn’t get better; rather, it became even worse beyond my mind.

          To bring home the bacon, Yeonmi Park‘s father started to smuggle goods in China and Korea, which was such a severe crime that one might be put into jail if he/she was caught. In Yeonmi Park’s family, it totally changed after her father got caught. Reading between the lines, I can totally experience the eager of family to reunion and these two girls (Yeonmi Park and her sister) struggle to live. As for their mother, I could understand how much she loved her children; she was so brave that I couldn’t help but to admire. On one hand, she tried lots of means to save her husband and Interrogated by officer at times; on the other hand, she needed to support two kids.

          How could eight-year-old girl struggle to live without parents? To me, I thought I lived a carefree life without any worries and had strong support of my parents at my age of eight. Thus, I couldn’t imagine how they survive; they needed to face the reality that I would face after I graduated from college. They were much mature than I did and brave enough to face the unknown problems. I couldn’t help but to read one page after another. As far as I read in these chapters, there was one question came to my mind. If I met the situation like her, would I brave enough to face it, to struggle my life?

Log #5

In order to live - Yeonmi Park 

          We live in a convenient, unrestrained country now. We have lot of choices to decide what we want, what we want to do. Have you ever thought if you live in the country without freedom? What you can do is to praise one leader. This book, In order to live, was talking about a true story of thirteen-year-old girl, Yeonmi Park, fled from North Korea with her family. I was so sympathetic over every unfair treatment she and her family encountered. For example, once, her mom, who was very loyal to the leader, was informed the rumor of North Korea. Then a large group of men who were sent from the headquarters came to their house asking her mother about where the rumor came from and threating her not to mention such a bad rumor that could stigmatize their country; if she did that, she would die. It was so terrible that I couldn’t imagine how tough life the citizen of North Korea lived.

            Despite the fact that Yeonmi Park, the main character, wrote her ordinary life on the book, but I thought it was the contrast that the life she lived in North Korea and other country. When people who lived in North Korea, they had to worry about the shortage of electricity and paid attention to what they were talking about. If they spoke something wrong, they would be punished. I think I am lucky enough to live in a freedom country; I can do lots of things without so many restrictions like them. I hope her story can be heard by lots of people. How she escaped from the North Korea, and the life she lived in there. This novel is worth reading for anyone. 

Three best presentations

1)      Sally 

             I was very impressed by her presentation. The pitch, volume, and pauses of voice are perfect. Besides, her organization is good, she illustrates every points (information, story, thought) one by one clearly. I can totally understand what she said and indulge myself in to the plot. She also has eye contact with the audience instead of looking at her script constantly. When she talking about her thought, she divided them into two parts which are homesick and dilemma. I think it is a good way for us to understand orderly. It’s more appealing that she can use some personal experience to share with us rather than puts lots of focus on the content of the novel. To conclude, I am impressed by her presentation very much.

2)      Julie  

            I am impressed by her presentation as well. I think the story is quite interesting and she illustrates the characters by using functions of PPT to tell us. It is not only interesting but also clear for audience to understand. Besides, I think her pronunciation is good that we can deeply comprehend what she is talking about. To sum up, she presents her report orderly and makes good use of PPT is quiet excellent for me to learn.

3)      Henry

             I think he is very brave because he volunteers to present one week before he should be. Thus, it shows that he is well-prepared and he could present it at any time. I think his presentation is good because he can give the example for us to understand more; besides, he also lists the some key words to let us know. He shares what he impressed by the novel such as the vivid description and suspicious plot that let reader have some room to imagine, it can arouse our interest to explore this novel. So, I am impressed by his presentation as well. 

Log#4

 

The Time Keeper

Author:  Mitch Albom

After reading my first novel, I start to continue my second reading material which is called The Time Keeper. This novel is also written by the same author, Mitch Albom, who always describes the issue of life. Though it is a little bit profound, I am still willing to read because I like to know or think some deeper aspect of life. That is the reason why I chose the same author’s novels.

As far as I read. Dor, who was the first person to measure the time, was banished into the cave because he invented the clock that made lots of people be trapped by time. The God forced him to listen the voice of these people’s begging that gave them more time in the cave. There were two main characters as well. Sarah Lemon was a young girl who wanted to end her life while Victor Delamonte was wealthy man who wanted to live forever.

In our society, we use so many phrases with “time” such as waste time, pass time, take your time, and a long time. Try to imagine that you live the society without “time”. Maybe, you won’t be so hurry in the morning to go to school; you won’t have to follow the routine on your schedule. However, in my opinion, when people know they still have time to do something, some of them will not treasure what they have now or have a concept that I can do later because I still have time. Valuating the importance of time is necessary for anyone in our society. If we notice how long do we have, we may afraid of being late, getting older, even dying. I am the one who always set the schedule in advance, but I can’t achieve it correctly sometimes. Thus, through reading this book, I remind myself to know the true meaning of time. 

Generally, this novel has leaded me to think more of time. I am still looking forward to the following chapters that how Dor, the main character, saves himself.  

Log #3

In the following chapters, I can gradually indulge myself into the situation that Charley, who is the main character, encounters. The author illustrates the experience of Charley with his mom. Still, Posey, his mom, wanted him to be a person who studied well; however, on the other hand, Charley’s father would rather want him to be professional at baseball than study. In his mind, he tended to be a member of baseball team. He always had the memory with his father and he wanted to know the reason why his dad would leave them without any hint while his mother said nothing about his father but to take care of them as usual.

Sometimes, Charley’s experience with his mom would be interrupted by a strange voice which nobody heard but him. To me, I suppose it’s the voice by his father. Though his father didn’t around him, he still had expectation that his father would show up one day. As the story went on, Charley’s mother let him know there was another wife of his father. What’s more, his father even had the other son who was older than Charley. Posey said maybe his father got scared during the war and he didn’t know how long would he lived. In the meanwhile, another wife of his father gave the security to him. It didn’t matter, what Posey wanted to say was she hoped his son would accompany his children and not to give up himself.

Well, in the end, it turns out that it was written by Maria who is Charley‘s daughter. She wrote the story of her father and grandmother. The whole novel is all about the love and compassion between parents and children. What they hope is their children would live a wonderful life.       

Log #2

After trying several times to kill himself and feeling disappointed, Charley Benetto decided to go to the small California town where he grew up. On the way he went back to home, everything he encountered was the same like he encountered when he was a child. Still, he tried to suicide; however, it didn’t succeed. He woke up and walked into the old house. He noticed that lots of things were in order as if someone had already lived here for a long time. After wandering for a while, Charley heard someone calling his name from upstairs. It was his mother, Posey. How could be possible? Didn’t his mother die for a long time? Charley still couldn’t understand what was going on? It seemed to be real and unreal, and he needed to believe it or not to believe?

In the following chapters, it was all about the things happened in Charley’s family. Charley’s father wanted him to play professionally while his mother wanted him to succeed in school. Besides, Charley’s parents quarrelled lots of thing frequently such as work, baseball, and teaching way. Eventually, they got divorce. After Charley’s father leaved, there were only three members in their home, mom, sister, and Charley. Posey, his mother, needed to take care of them on her own. Sometimes, Charley desired for a healthy family and wanted to know why his father left them, but his mother didn’t explain too much.

There was a plot that touched me a lot. I could tell how deep Posey loved her children in sentences. After she got divorce, she needed to face other’s judgments. What worse, she even lost her job later. As for Charley, he felt embarrassed because he only had mother. He didn’t want to talk about his parents in front of classmate. But, he still loved his mother; he was desired for a healthy family. I think Posey was quite brave and responsible. She still cared his child very much, taught him manners. Sometimes, Charley would resist to his mother. To be honest, I was very pitiful to Posey. Being a mother without anyone’s help must be the difficult task that we couldn’t imagine easily.

Despite the fact that I still didn’t understand why Charley’s father left and that why Charley could see his mother even though she was die, I expected their family could be united one day. 

Log #1

For One More Day

Author:  Mitch Albom

           Recently, I read the book, “Mitch Albon”, which is recommended by Fred when I go to the library. He tells me that this book is quite touching and worth reading. I can learn thoughts on life from it. I am fascinated by the plot that he told me. Thus, I decided to choose it as my reading book.  

           As far as I read, Mitch Albon is narrating about the middle-aged man called Charley Benetto became worse and worse after he withdrew from the identity of baseball man. He lost his jobs, money, and his precious family. He did try to restart himself; however, he was deceived by someone as being a salesman. Moreover, he was not invited by her dear daughter’s wedding; instead, he received a notification from her only. Feeling disappointed, Charley started to drinking alcohol all day, giving up himself. 

           He tried to suicide for several times, but he was still alive. I think there must be some interesting reason in the following chapters. His father had died for long years, his mother died as well. Charley’s daughter married to someone else, leaving him to live alone. If I were him, I would be very crazy about that. How could I live without my closest family and jobs? Besides, there was another thing that I want to discuss. Charley’s father told him that he couldn’t choose both of his parents; rather, he needed to select either his mother or his father when he was young. Although I still didn’t understand why his father would say that, in my opinion, but there must be some secrets behind that. In the meanwhile, he was in a dilemma and needed to face realities. 

           To conclude, though the chapters I read are all about the misfortune Charley encounters. I am still looking forward if there would be some changes to him. Is he getting better or worse?    

My reading history

         I used to be a reader. But now, I’m not. When I was an elementary school student, I liked to read Chinese martial arts novel such as 神鵰俠侶. It is my first novel that I have read in Mandarin. I was deeply fascinated by the amusing plot and the poignant love story.  

As for English novel, I didn’t read any novel in English until I was in senior high. In that time, I was forced to do because of my teacher. She asked us to read as much as possible. To be honest, I was so grateful for that. Since then, I have gradually tried to read English novel. Detective novel was my favorite. I enjoyed how they handled the case and their insights. Beside the book teacher recommended, Before I Go to Sleep was the first English novel that I chose. If you are interested in this kind of novel, you can give it a try.

When it comes to the person who made me a reader, my father is indispensable. He loves to read Chinese novel or book very much. When I was little, he would tell me the story of what he had read so that I would be attracted by the plot and then read by myself.  Honestly, reading can not only make me knowledgeable but also make me pleasurable. Despite the fact that I don’t have the habit of reading now, I am still willing to read. I hope I could regain my passion for reading in both Mandarin and English in college.