Log #5

How to say no to friends?

In the class on March 29, with teacher’s guidance, I exploited myself and found that one of my vulnerabilities is that I can’t say no to my friends. I don’t want to let them down, see their upset face and feel guilty. But sometimes in my mind I do want to reject them since the favor they asked for was so tough and made me unhappy. After class I googled “how to say no to friends”and was amazed to know that there are many people having the same trouble .

Some bloggers shared their solutions and suggestions. I read them and sorted my own “4Ws”to say NO to my friends.

(1)Why do I need to say no?

I can’t say yes to everything.

True friends have to be sensitive to each other’s feelings and be willing to accept NO for an answer when it’s reasonable. Although I want to support my friends, but if the personal cost of saying yes is too great,  either morally or logistically, it’s okay to say NO.

(2)What need to prepare when I say No?

Providing a reasonable explanation of my decision to say NO. It helps my friends better understand my choice.

(3)When should I say NO?

Say NO as soon as possible if I do want to say so. Because my hesitation may make my friends have no time to ask someone else for help.  

(4)How could I say NO?

Gracious and reasonable. Use the sentence pattern just like“I wish I could but” or “I really can’t because...”in a soft but firm voice.

Hope I could get over this and make some progress.

Resources:

1.https://www.themuse.com/advice/how-to-say-no-to-anyone-even-a-good-friend

2.https://www.quora.com/Is-it-ok-to-say-no-to-friends

3.https://www.realsimple.com/work-life/10-guilt-free-strategies-for-saying-no

4.http://www.wikihow.com/Say-No-Without-Feeling-Guilty

5.http://academicintegrity.ucsd.edu/take-action/prevent-cheating/students/say-no.html

6.http://www.wisebread.com/5-ways-to-say-no-to-friends-and-family