Log #5

        These days, I feel that I always live a busy life. However, I don’t know what I am really busy for. It is a terrible warning. This sign makes me down and makes me start to inspect myself that whether what I chose is correct or not.

Sometimes, I regret my choice I decided for entering the school which is not appropriate to me. From time to time, I imagine that what kind of the condition I would be if I pick another choice instead of studying English. In college life, all I found was my shortcomings, such as disabilities on work and study, my terrible social skills, or common sense. I found myself was a person who is unable to do anything well, a person who is not skilled in any substantial aspect. To be honest, I have got so much pressure since I entered the college. However, I seldom tell others my true feelings because I thought it was ashamed. Everyone seems to adapt themselves in their college lives. Most of the classmates can handle almost assignments on study part, finish homework affluently, and make projects going smoothly without spending too much time. Instead, I was worried about any of thing happened to me because I have too many insufficiencies to do anything quickly and well just like others do. I would feel humiliating because I lack of the fundamental abilities which NTUST students should have. I really want to strengthen myself and do something to complement what I lack of; however, I even have no idea that what I can do and which way I can use. Even I know what I really want, it is hard to attain the goal for me, without any appropriate way to improve myself.

Even though I am disappointed with myself, I know that there is no room for me to keep retreating. The more upset I am, the more courage I should have! I hope that I can find myself back and become the original person—vigorous, happy, and positive—as soon as possible!