LOG #4

Book: Shadow of a Bull

Author: Maia Wojciechowska

We all might have the experience of being expect to accomplish something, maybe by parents, by teachers, or even by ourselves. Some of them are available, while some are not. One may just give up when he realizes that the target can’t be reached. Yet, if one were expected, or forced by the whole society to accomplish something that he could never reach, what should he do?

Manolo was the son of the great bullfighter, Juan Oliva. In Arcangel, people know about Juan Oliva because he was the best bullfighter of ever, and people even built his status in the middle of city after he passed away. Since then, Manolo has long been expected by citizens to inherit the legacy of his father and follow his legendary footsteps: to become a great bullfighter. However, he has a secret that no one knows—he is a coward, he is afraid of everything, and he would never want to be a bullfighter.

This book reminds me of the old days when I was forced to learn lots of things. At my fourteenth, I was sent to learn Taekwondo, which is a kind of martial arts. My parents wanted me to be stronger, but I was never interested in it actually. Each time when I was going to entered Taekwondo gym, I just wished to run away. I disliked it, but my brain told me I couldn’t escape because that’s shameful. The process was so tough that the thought of giving up started to occupy my mind tardily. Finally, the thought of giving up occupying my mind. I broke off the course by making excuses.

Abandonment seems to be the simplest way, but it also brings out the most serious consequences. We can give up or run away because we think we can neglect the condemnation comes from the bottom of our minds. However, when there is a great serenity during the midnight, and we’re thinking alone. We may suddenly think of the dreams that we never accomplish. Then, a sense of depression and regret will invade our mind rudely just like a beast, and keep haunting us until we are tired, exhausted and totally fall asleep. Even so, they may become nightmare, keeping annoying us.

　　What’s the most difficult thing in the world? To accept the inability of yourself and change your target, I think. The most stupid thing in life is to believe people want you to believe, to accomplish the target people wants you to reach. Yet, the life belongs to us. The right of how to use it depends on ourselves. If we discover that we totally don’t expect something, then we can refuse it rightly. We may wonder, we may regret, but we should believe our choice. At least, we’re making the life from what we chose.