Log #7

“Fear, to a great extent, is born of a story we tell ourselves, and so I chose to tell myself a different story from the one women are told. I decided I was safe. I was strong. I was brave. Nothing could vanquish me. Insisting on this story was a form of mind control, but for the most part, it worked.” 
― Cheryl Strayed, Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail

I was a girl who was timid and concerned too much. I was afraid to face challenges and to set out my comfort zone. Every time when I was forced to set out the comfort zone, I was anxious and nervous. Changing, in fact, was one of my nightmares. However, those feelings toward changing became totally different since I studied in the senior high school. 

Once I was nominated and had a chance to be a class leader. It was a heavy burden. I was so afraid that I would disappoint my homeroom teacher and my classmates. I was so stressed that I couldn’t sleep well in the beginning. Last, I could not bear the pressure and turned to my younger sister. It was she who gave me the courage. She told me to have faith in myself since my classmates had that faith in me. All the worries were just imagined by myself. Did not think too much and just focused on what you should do. After talking with her, I did relieve a lot and gain confidence. Also, I realized that I was not alone. I stopped concerning too much in advance. I decided to just do it first instead of imagining the worst result before doing it. I pretended to be confident because I thought that if I got used to pretending to be brave and confident, I would be courageous and confident truly. If there were difficulties, I would turn to others, asking their suggestions. Fortunately, there were kind and warm friends and classmates who were willing to help me, which I really appreciated. Finally, I got the good feedbacks from my homeroom teacher and the classmates. In addition, I discovered that taking challenges brought out another aspect of me. I discovered that there were more possibilities for me. Those I once regarded as impossible became possible in the end. When I recalled, I had done a lot of impossibilities. 

Since then, I have loved to take challenges. Even though I still feel nervous and anxious when taking challenges, I feel excited and expectant at the same time. I become more willing to try and learn new things. Tring something new and setting out the comfort zone make me realize more potentials in lives.