Log #2

When I read The Autobiography from Benjamin Franklin,there is a certain part that impressed me a lot,which is “I added Humility to my list,giving an extensive Meaning to the Word.I cannot boast of much Success in acquiring the Reality of this Virtue;but I had a good deal with regard to the Appearance of it.I made it a Rule to forbear all direct Contradiction to the Sentiments of others,and all positive Assertion of my own.”

It occurs to me that Benjamin is a master of language and a so-called born-to-be diplomat.He can choose the language he uses facing different people.And he develops his ability of using euphemistic words,which can also be proved by his writing style,especially comparing to Johnathan Edwards,whose literary works turn out to be unvarnished ironic.

Then it occurred to me that it does not only have something to do with literary works,but also with social life,since it can reflect two different kind of life styles.One of them is whether the words hurt others or not,what’s more important is that one always choose to speak or even behave directly and frankly,since the truth weighs.And the other of them is that one has to dress himself for a better kind of interpersonal relationship,which,in other words,means that one has to pretend to be more friendly and polite.

So whether it is a wiser choice to behave the way that others assume one to be?And whether it is some kind of virtue to behave so?And is it really necessary to behave so?

Maybe yes.

In order to be a social person,one needs to adjust himself to the outside world,in which process,one needs to make himself welcomed and respected by others.And being polite is definitely a fundamental preparation for it.However,when it comes to a closer relationship-I mean-the kind of relationship that shares more intimate emotions and more common experiences,I never regard it as a better idea to pretend to be friendly and polite.

In that case,it’s often easier to show the appearance that one has himself.

I need to know about the real you.

The one who has his own temper.

I need to know which aspect offends or irritates you.

I need to acquire the ability to figure out your real emotions by the details of your behavior.

That’s what makes us lifelong friends.