Log #4

“I was two people in the same body, each fighting for supremacy.” Einar Wegener said in his, or we should called him “her”, in the autobiography. Even if you don’t recognize the name, you must have heard of her story, which was adapted into the popular movie ---- The Danish Girl.

Lili Elbe on the left and Eddie Redmayne starring Lili on the right.

Lili Elbe, the woman Einar Wegener called himself, was a person who was so different from the original Einar. She was shy and powerless. However, this powerless did not stop her from becoming who she really was. Lily appeared in Einar’s heart when he first dressed on the beautiful dress his wife, a painter called Gerda, has given him. As time went on, Einar found himself not comfortable in the body of a man. When the feeling grew stronger, Einar started to find solutions. At first, he was going to commit suicide and even chose a date. But his decision changed when the appointed day came. Einar decided to undergo some operation.

After the operations, Lili seesawed between the feeling of joy and despair. She gradually found out that she would never be accepted by the world. Though she faced a lot of discrimination for the creepy hobby, Lili did not abandon her initial hope. She believed that she had the right to remain the way she liked.

Unfortunately, Lili did not survived the operation at last. What made me sad was not that she failed to survive, but the letters she sent to the ones she loved. Below are two paragraphs from Lili’s letters, also the ones that touched me the most.

“Now I know that death is near,” she wrote. “Last night I dreamt about Mother. She took me in her arms and called me Lili…and Father was also there…” 

“That I, Lili, am vital and have a right to life I have proved by living for 14 months,” she wrote. “It may be said that 14 months is not much, but they seem to me like a whole and happy human life.” 

I was touched by Lili’s courage. It is not so easy for a person to shout out that he views himself differently from others, not to mention how conventional the era Lili lived in. I admired her being the true person who she was and cherished the only moments she could live the life she longed for. Also, from her letters, it is obvious that Lili didn’t only want to become who she was, but also become the one her family could accept. I can feel how much Lily wanted other people’s love instead of disgust.

It is truly a tragedy for transgender people not being able to stand up for themselves due to our misunderstanding. Transgender people are just like us, they are normal. They just chose the different way to live, and they definitely have the right to be themselves. For me, the best way to make sure that all men are equal, is to educate all the generations that, for no reason should they despise others. Furthermore, only by joining or not seeing transgender people in disgust can we make this society a warmer and better place.